The first time it attacked me it was a surprise attack not knowing or understanding what was going on. I thought that I was just having a really bad headache as I stumbled for a place to lay down with an urgent desire to go to sleep just to escape the pain. When I woke up it was gone and only felt sluggish but was excited about the days events . I was young and strong and no longer thought any more of it. The monster slept!
As I started a family and a life and was completely caught off guard when the monster woke up with a screaming roar once again! This time though I realized this was not just a headache as I laid on the tile floor of my bathroom voilently vomiting from the excuriating pain that ripped through my head. My young son trying to console me as he called my husband on the phone telling him “Dad you need to come home now something is wrong with mom !” Little did I know as my husband drove home from helping a friend that he was on the phone with another one of our friends who happens to be a doctor. So there we are me laying on the bathroom floor to afraid to move for fear of making the monster more angry which only caused me to become violently ill ( and all those that Suffer from Migraines Know that vomiting while’ in a middle of a number 10 it is best to keep any type of firearm away from us because all we want is someone to blow our brains out ) so next time you ask someone who is Suffering from a migraine if you can get them any thing and they say yes a gun! Usually at that moment we mean it! However, I digress as all of us were on the bathroom floor Since by the time my husband got home and our friend the doctor got there too the only place I could move to was lying on the tile because it was cold and my body was responding to the pain I was drenched in sweat And I could not move.
My concerned husband kept asking if I Should be taken to the hospital and was not understanding what was happening to me. Our friend (the doctor) Only looked at me and in whispers as they spoke sitting on the bathroom floor the doctor said “she is in so much pain that we have to see if we can get her to swallow, yes thats right I said swallow some pain killers. At the time What I found out later they gave me two OTC migraine relief pills. The next feat was to get Me Off the floor And into my bed. So my husband encouraged me as if he were talking to one of our children to be a good girl and keep moving toward the bed I Crawled on my hands and knees Inching my way toward my bed the whole time hearing my husbands encouragement thru the darkness of pain. I finally made it And the last thing I remember is the sweet Oblivon Of sleep because my body Could take no more. The only thing that I was Aware of was I felt like I had fought a battle And wasn’t sure Who the winner was.
In the years to Come I learned that I would fight the monster over and over again using every weapon that was At my disposal. I have had Doctors throw me away because they didn’t know how to fix me . I now have a Label to my condition I am a Functioning Stage 4 migraine sufferer. Which means I live with my Condition the best I Can. Stage 4 well we know there is no stage 5. So the usual Botox which Is incredibly painful to have And the meds just to keep me going until there hopefully is a new procedure that may one day come along. When I found this Arena of fellow migraine sufferers I don’t feel so alone and have learned So much that I Can hopefully keep the monster calm.
Just recently my husband and I went to the movies and what flashed on the screen gave my migraine a face. I turned to my husband and told him “honey you have seen me suffer for 14 years with some life shattering pain. Do you see the monster on the screen of the movie? That is what my migraines look like , I was able to show him the hideous ugliness of these migraines and all the destruction it causes. My migraine now has a face and the monster it is ugly and scary. The monster Sleeps today but I am going to go on a plane in two days so I hope my monster does not wake up.