Laughing at the absurd things I do because of migraine keeps me from crying about them. Here are some of the migraine absurdities that amuse me. Please share your own in the comments!
- Holding your breath while walking by the cleaning supply aisle at the grocery store.
- Wearing earplugs while clothes shopping to dampen the sound of hangers screeching across metal racks.
- Circling a doctor’s waiting room to find the chair farthest from patients drenched in perfume. (Bonus points for getting up to move when that person sits next to you.)
- Wishing the little boy next door would use his inside voice when he plays outside.
- Pausing four times in a single sentence to remember the point.
- Avoiding a formerly favorite store because it started carrying scented candles.
- Substituting blatantly wrong words, like dishwasher instead of drawer or oven instead of toaster.
- Resorting to descriptions of everyday objects, like calling the refrigerator the thing that keeps food cold.
- Always turning down the music.
- Wearing underwear inside out to avoid feeling the seams.
- Daydreaming about having a toilet installed beside the bed.
- Running a fan for white noise to drown out the chorus of neighborhood dogs.
- Preferring to wear clothes without a waistband.
- Shirking jewelry because it’s too uncomfortable against sensitive skin.
- Grilling restaurant servers about every ingredient in a dish.
- Asking your partner if the smell of cigarette butts in the clothes dryer is real or a hallucination.
- Worrying that a good mood is an indication an impending migraine.
What about life with migraine strikes you as absurd?
How much has your migraine disease changed or evolved over time?