Migraine Absurdities

Migraine Absurdities

Laughing at the absurd things I do because of migraine keeps me from crying about them. Here are some of the migraine absurdities that amuse me. Please share your own in the comments!

  • Holding your breath while walking by the cleaning supply aisle at the grocery store.
  • Wearing earplugs while clothes shopping to dampen the sound of hangers screeching across metal racks.
  • Circling a doctor’s waiting room to find the chair farthest from patients drenched in perfume. (Bonus points for getting up to move when that person sits next to you.)
  • Wishing the little boy next door would use his inside voice when he plays outside.
  • Pausing four times in a single sentence to remember the point.
  • Avoiding a formerly favorite store because it started carrying scented candles.
  • Substituting blatantly wrong words, like dishwasher instead of drawer or oven instead of toaster.
  • Resorting to descriptions of everyday objects, like calling the refrigerator the thing that keeps food cold.
  • Always turning down the music.
  • Wearing underwear inside out to avoid feeling the seams.
  • Daydreaming about having a toilet installed beside the bed.
  • Running a fan for white noise to drown out the chorus of neighborhood dogs.
  • Preferring to wear clothes without a waistband.
  • Shirking jewelry because it’s too uncomfortable against sensitive skin.
  • Grilling restaurant servers about every ingredient in a dish.
  • Asking your partner if the smell of cigarette butts in the clothes dryer is real or a hallucination.
  • Worrying that a good mood is an indication an impending migraine.

What about life with migraine strikes you as absurd?

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