Air Freshener, Mine Enemy
I’m feeling the need to confess. Maybe I shouldn’t, just in case business owners mentioned (however subtly) in this short story actually read this blog.
Nah, it’s not likely. I’ll go ahead anyway.
Ahem. Confession. In two parts. Here we go:
1. I HATE AIR FRESHENER.
2. I HIDE/CLOSE/OBSCURE/MODIFY AIR FRESHENER DISPENSERS IN PUBLIC PLACES.
Now, I understand a little bit about what it’s like to own your own business. I understand that you want to create a warm, friendly, yummy-smelling environment. That Smell o’ Bathroom will not enhance coffee or drink sales. Therefore I will not toss your air freshener into the garbage, nor will I try to flush it down the toilet (I’d surely get caught that way). But if you have one of those stand-up freshener dispensers that allows you to adjust how much smell is coming out, I will shut it so it’s closed (or nearly closed, only a tiny crack of air letting out faux, plasticky “raspberry” to seep out). And if you have those Glade plug-ins with an on/off switch, I might switch it off. Just for a bit.
I’m at one of my favorite coffee shops as we speak. Today when we came in, one of the owners was mopping the floor—it looked clean & shiny. Unfortunately, the cleanser was very strong-smelling—it shot up my nose and pierced into my headachey brain (yup, migraine today—but it’s very overcast, and I kind of expected this—so no tears). A little later I was in the bathroom—before I even opened the door I smelled the air freshener; it already had affected my head, which was pounding due to my having stood up too fast and having smelled that horrible smell.
Okay, so confession’s over. Conscience is clear.
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