Thanks for Your Concern... I Don't Want to Talk About It
A friend came over for a few minutes and we chatted for a bit. I’d just returned from vacation so he asked how it was and if I’d felt great the whole trip. I started to answer, then took a deep breath and said, “I don’t want to talk about it right now, but thank you for asking. We saw incredible elk mating displays at Rocky Mountain National Park.”
I know I’m very fortunate to have many people in my life who are interested in knowing what’s going on with my migraines. Their care and support mean the world to me, but they want so much for me to feel better that sometimes I feel bad disappointing them with the truth. Some days I just don’t feel like talking about migraine. I’ve learned to say, “I don’t want to talk about it right now, but thank you for asking.”
The day my friend was over was at the end of two bad days. Not only was my migraine more severe and more debilitating than has been the norm this year, I was frustrated and feeling hopeless. I’d been crying not 10 minutes before he arrived. If I’d started talking about my health, the tears would have been flowing in no time. Sometimes that’s just fine, but I’d already pulled myself together several times that day and I didn’t want to do it again.
Most of the time I’m perfectly happy to talk about the facts of migraine and my treatment. Other times I want to vent and unload my frustration. Still other times I want to pretend like everything is fine. Everyone has topics like that, whether it’s health or work or family or money. Whatever the topic, there’s nothing wrong with saying, “I don’t want to talk about it right now.”
I always try to remember to add "thank you," too. I really did appreciate my friend asking, especially because I knew he genuinely wanted to know how I was doing. But I just couldn’t do it. And my friend understood.
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