My Internal Dialogue During an 8-Day Migraine Attack
I actually thought I was doing well today. I went running down to Woodley Park and back, 2.4 miles. I lied down after showering to rest before meeting friends for Mexican food. As I got out of bed a big old piece of my vision was missing. I have a migraine with an aura. No fajitas for me tonight. My friends were kind enough to bring me ice cream after dinner though.
I'm 4 hours deep into the pain and I want to bust through the walls. Around my right temple it feels like my brain is going to explode and my eyeball might fall out. I used lavender oil on my head and temples to reduce inflammation. I took one shot of DHE and then a second shot 4 hours later. For good measure I took some Toradol to reduce the inflammation. After hours of dealing with the pain, I think it’s time to bring in the sleep aid to knock me out.
My BF is across the country at a Bachelor party. Lucky him that he doesn’t have to deal with me right now, he could use a break. I was planning an easy weekend alone. Maybe visit a few friends and their kids out in the ‘burbs, check out a museum, organize the kitchen, or write a bit. But now, it looks like I'll be stuck in the apartment, sleeping. I wish he would come home so I could curl up in his lap while the pain works through my body. Dealing with it alone can get sad.
The last few weeks have been hard but I knew it was related to the wearing off of the Botox. I got a new set of Botox injections 3 days ago, but that’s still not enough time to sink in and make a difference yet.
I had to call my parents and let them know I was going to miss a family BBQ today. Knowing that my BF was out of town, they offered to come over and kidnap me back to their house so I could recover with them. I declined, hopeful that I would have more energy today. They made me promise to call tomorrow if I needed to go to the ER. ”Don’t let it get out of hand,” they said. I’m sure I’ll be stubborn for a few more days.
A friend graciously offered to help out. Yes! I needed to fill a prescription, but more importantly I needed French fries! For some reason I crave salt (especially fries) when I’m like this. Our short little jaunt wiped me out.
To avoid medication overuse headache, I need to stop taking DHE soon and I hate using painkillers more than two days in a row. We’ll see how I feel in the morning. I'm sitting in my completely darkened room, shades closed, AC on full blast. Mellow music playing in the background, I should fall asleep soon.
Ok. I need to pull it together. Staying inside is making me crazy. I went for a short walk, hoping that it would jumpstart a recovery. Lying in bed makes me stiff and weak. It only perpetuates the headache. I’m glad I went, but I slept for 4 hours afterwards.
I still don’t feel like I’m in the recovery phase yet. It’s a lot better than yesterday and the day before, but I can’t concentrate. I’ve gotten nothing done around the house that I had hoped to do while my BF was away. He’ll understand. I know it’s just me feeling guilty about only being able to sleep and watch TV.
I'm a positive person, but when the headaches get this bad it's hard to think of the light at the end of the tunnel. No one wants to be stuck here. It takes so much energy to get out of the rut. I try hard not let it get me down. Today it scares me to think that I could repeat these cycles my entire life. I want to fight against it. I have to believe that it won't always be this way.
My body is sore from being curled up into a ball as I sleep. I went a little further on my walk today, so I feel good about that. I did some basic yoga for about 15 minutes too and that is helping. I even showered! Maybe this is turning around!
My BF came home on a red-eye this morning. I had planned to go to yoga class today, but I slept through it. This evening I woke up from my nap and felt confused and out of it. I’m definitely regressing back to another Migraine cycle instead of getting better.
I walked down the street to meet my BF to grab quick food. Two blocks after I left the house, I wanted to curl up on the sidewalk and fall asleep. I really had to focus to make it the next two blocks. I had an Alice and Wonderland moment. I made it to meet him and he could tell without a word that I was hurting. He asked if I needed to go to Urgent Care. I want to wait it out. Maybe this was a fleeting moment of pain, maybe in the morning it would be better. It’s been 6 days. Crap. How am I going to get there? What time can I go? How am I going to manage the pain until then? This sucks.
I gave up. I went to Urgent Care. I have a standing order of what to do for me, but you never know if they are going to honor it. I was there for a good 6 hours. Two bags of saline, IV Magnesium and Solumedrol, and two shots of Dialudid. This should do it.
My friends have been texting and calling. Makes me feel great to know they love me. I can’t wait to get out of the house. I’m falling behind on responding to emails and working on Migraine.com. I’m so exhausted.
I can definitely tell that the Migraine has finally broken. Sweet relief. Just a few more days of feeling like I got hit by a Mack Truck and I should be good as new.
What time of day, what day of the week, what month and what season am I in? During these hibernations, I completely lose track of time. The days run together. Maybe when I stop sleeping 16-18 hours a day, I’ll figure it out.
What do I need to do first when I return to the land of the living in a few days?
How much has your migraine disease changed or evolved over time?