Pee in a cup

Had to pee in a cup for a routine drug test yesterday–have to pass the test in order to formally be granted the new job I’ve already been given, for all practical purposes. Imagine the raised eyebrows on the medical assistant’s face when she asked me to write down any prescription medications I was taking in the little box provided on the intake sheet: “Oh,” I said, “I brought my list,” whipping out my word-processed document that listed all the medications and vitamins I ingest each day.

As if one little box would fit them all! Ha!

Then, two minutes later, I emerged from the bathroom stall and handed her my unpleasantly warm plastic cup of neon yellow urine–it has acquired this hue ever since I began taking vitamin B-2 each morning as per my neurologist’s suggestion. Perhaps she thought I had given her a small vat of warm lemon-lime Gatorade? No one will know, but let’s hope I entertained the young woman who had appeared completely bored and expressionless up until our encounter.

Ah, neon pee. How I love thee.

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