Sometimes I resent the "normal" people
Note: by the time I posted the following blog entry, I was feeling really great and the durned hair tinsel wasn't uncomfortable in the least. My mood is much improved by now as well, but for the sake of full disclosure I thought I should show you all the uglier side of how I sometimes feel!
Sometimes I catch myself feeling so resentful, so frustrated with the fact that so-called “regular” people don’t need to watch their every step, always keeping a watchful eye out for the next debilitating migraine attack.
Last night I went to my friend’s awesome boutique in order to have another friend, an accomplished hairstylist in town, put tinsel in my hair. No idea what hair tinsel is? I didn’t either until yesterday morning, though when I learned it looked like this I decided I must make my 8-year-old dreams come true by making my hair sparkle with lovely strands of tinsel.
It looks good on me, surprisingly enough—I say “surprisingly” because I’m not the type of girl who spends a whole lot of time primping. It looks especially neat at night under outdoor lighting. I was really happy I got it.
But today I began to second-guess my spur-of-the-moment decision. I scratched my head and found what I thought was some kind of creepy little nugget of somethin’ (gross, I know). I went to scratch it and realized it was the teensy, tiny knot that Mary had tied toward the root. Supposedly these suckers will stay in for WEEKS.
Touching that one little knot suddenly seemed to make me hyper-aware of all the other tinsel strands and their corresponding knots. As I started to feel the little pinches of discomfort at the site of each strand, a storm was rolling into town—and you know what rainstorms can do to my head.
So now I was potentially pre-migrainous and worried that my silly little hair tinsels were going to push a possible migraine into definite migraine territory.
And then I got mad.
Do you think that most women who go to get some frivolous hair product spiral into worry about how that product might cause them consistent, pinching pain? For that matter, what of the millions of people who don’t have to think twice while sharing a crowded elevator with a lady who happens to be wearing a bucket of perfume? And what a lark it must be for those people out there who can order a Coke, get a Diet Coke by mistake, and not have to pop a migraine pill after having swigged an accidental gulp of aspartame-laden diet soda?
It’s not often I feel this jealous of the regular folk. My calmer, more sane self would say, “Janet, you know that every person has her own issues. You don’t know where anyone else is coming from, so treat people compassionately.” But my crazier side is peeking out instead right now, and I want to lash out at all the people in the world who *seem* to parade through life without having to ever feel as if their walking on eggshells, eggshells that will explode into vicious migraines if even one cracks.
I'm hopeful I'm not the only one who has such bouts of negativity--how do you feel?
Can you tell when a migraine attack is coming?