"You're the best at yourself": How my beau's words of wisdom helped me
My boyfriend—ahem, fiancé—is someone I have talked a lot about here in my migraine.com articles. Since 2006, Jim has been a constant source of encouragement, comfort, and sometimes a few doses of tough love, especially when it comes to my health problems.
Recently we were talking about how I had some important decisions to make regarding my migraine care, my arthritis (which has symptoms that wax and wane depending on if I’m in a flare), and my recent diagnosis of endometriosis. I was veritably pulling my hair out, quoting from different books and health websites and notes I’d taken at the doctor’s office.
In addition to some hand holding (both proverbial and literal) and nudging to get me to schedule an appointment I’d been dreading, Jim said something that cut through all the b.s. and made me feel infinitely less stressed out about the bucket of health problems that all seemed to have landed in my lap at once.
You know what he said?
“You’re the best at yourself.”
I can’t tell you how much weight I felt lifted off my shoulders and my head when he said this. I was swimming in the opinions of doctors whom I respected, family members who were doing their best to encourage me to make choices that were right for me but who were concerned about my pain, anecdotes from people online who have the same conditions as I, and the long lists of side effects/potential risks of treatment options. I felt totally overwhelmed and unable to move out of the mire until I heard those words: “You’re the best at yourself.”
The concept is simple, but its strength was so profound at that moment. I was able to take a deep breath, lay down my burden, and go to bed.
And a few hours later I had made a decision (in this case, the decision to have laproscopic surgery to treat my endometriosis and corresponding pain). I felt a calm sense of focus and realized I was already armed with well-researched knowledge about my options and with the support of my family and doctors. The air felt clearer as I put the focus on myself and my profoundly deep understanding of my own body, my own health, my own mind. “You are the best at yourself.”
That’s when, at least in that instance, I knew what was right for me and I could move ahead with this major medical decision.
I was so moved by Jim’s words that I wrote them down and scribbled in the margin of my notebook, “I should consider writing an article about this for migraine.com. I wonder if any readers out there have had someone say something so simple and profound that allowed them to look at their situations clearly.”
So now I turn to you: have you heard or read anything that caused you to pause and take stock of your situation in a different light? Share your story below if you’d like—I know we all can use all the encouragement we can get.
Can you tell when a migraine attack is coming?