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Venting About Migraine Disease

This is a post written for the October 2012 Headache & Migraine Disease Blog Carnival. This month’s topic was “Venting About Migraine Disease: How do you vent your frustrations about living with migraine disease in a way that’s helpful to your healing, both emotionally and physically?”

Perhaps this is a cop-out, but here’s the first and truest answer that came to my mind: WRITING. And, in particular, writing this blog. Whenever I find myself really frustrated with an aspect of living with this illness, I use my phone or a scratch piece of paper to scrawl down what I want to write about.

The simple act of scrawling down my thoughts allows me to move past them for the moment. Instead of getting worked up about a particular situation (a customer wearing way too much perfume that is beginning to trigger a migraine; bright, unavoidable fluorescent lights in a big-box store; etc.), I am comforted and calmed by the fact that I can make a note of it, move past it for the moment, and return later to write in detail about my feelings. And, best of all, there’s a vibrant community of readers who very often know where I’m coming from and can share their insights as well.

I can’t quite recall how I effectively coped with my migraine frustrations before establishing my then-anonymous blog several years ago now. The severity and impact of my migraine disease were well-guarded secrets then, so having a blog through which to vent and express myself provided me with so much relief. Once others started responding through comments and through sharing links to their own work, I felt much less isolated and more a part of a community.

What do you do to healthily vent your frustrations with living with migraine disease? And, if you’d like, you are encouraged to let us know even some of your unhealthy coping mechanisms 🙂

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Migraine.com team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

  • tucker
    7 years ago

    LOL, I have been venting in journals since I started a “baby book” which was really more of a journal than a traditional baby book. I had twins so it was just easier to write down stuff “for later”. Soon it became the SAHM venting journal, then the migraines really kicked in just as they were hitting their terrible 3’s (and probably postpartum depression?) I have dozens of those little notebooks full of my life for the past 13 years! The good, the bad and the ugly and my hopes and dreams and accomplishments. I have migraine journals on paper and on the computer. I list notebooks and good for me (when I’m feeling down, I come back to this then it drops off again). Crazy!

    For years I was also on a bunch of boards on parentsoup when I was pregnant until about kindergarden, then I went back to work and dropped those. When my kids went to kindergarten I was pretty involved in a lot of activities but my HA/migraines got worse and became chronic and nausea was constant and I wasn’t being treated so I found lots of migraine boards to move to when I could handle it. The past couple years have been really hard on me health wise so I mostly come here or where the research takes me when I’m not sleeping.

  • Julie
    7 years ago

    Yes, I plan to keep following this blogging. It helps a lot. Keeping everything bottled up is no good-you feel like your pressure valve is ready to explode at the smallest little thing. Now I can let most of it roll off my back. Most of it. Once in a while I might snap at something, but they really have to push me. And they have to push me pretty hard. But it’s getting easier to just let them act like childish little monkeys and I keep my mouth shut and say “whatever” and go about my business, unless I’m in bed with an ice pack and pillow over my head.

  • Nancy Harris Bonk moderator
    7 years ago

    Writing can be helpful for many people. I’ll tell you what’s really throwing me for a loop these days, moods swings due to menopause. Oh my goodness. Talk about wanting to “snap” – some days it takes everything I have not to bite my poor kids heads off!

  • AudreyB
    7 years ago

    I do the same thing you do. I began this blog originally to share what happened when I thought Aleve had given me an ulcer, and continued it when I realized it could help others.

    Audrey
    http://migrainesandmealifestory.blogspot.com/

  • Julie
    7 years ago

    The way I vent about my anger and frustration is to talk to my best friend of about 30 years. I will call her on the phone or she might happen to stop by for a visit. She is like a sister to me. We have been there for eachother through thick and thin and through many trials. She has been especially supportive of me through my migraine disease and all the comorbidites and has learned along with me all that goes along with this nasty business of being so ill. I have called off on her and cancelled outings with her on many occasions and she has not once gotten angry, thank God. But on my darkest days she has been there to intervene when I was at the end of my rope and got me the professional help I so desperately needed.

    There were times when I’d be so mad I’d be spitting fumes about my spouse for his oftentimes lack of emotional support and lack of empathy for my disease, and she would patiently lend me her ear and/or shoulder and let me get it all out. Oftentimes she would come by and offer me an escape route to get me out of this place when I was not up to driving, as is the case when these things strike out of the blue and your not able to drive due to the visual aura and slow reflexes that make you a hazzard on the road.

    And at times when I’d get so mad about what this disease is robbing me of-the things I can no longer do that I so desperately what to do and when there was no one around to vent to I’ll yell or rant at the surrounding walls in the house, and throw the pillows or beat up the pillows and have arguments with myself. Yes I’ll argue with myself-I have conversations with myself to, but I don’t talk back, most of the time. sometimes my little doggie would look at me with his adorable little head tilted to one side with an inquisitive look to his face. I’d often imagine him saying to himself “poor mommy has gone bonkers” and at that point I’d stop and then I’d cuddle with him and then cry it out for a while and then I’d go on a carb binge. Got to have those carbs-pasta, pasta, pasta. Or cereal, bread or pretzels.

    Then at the end of the day I’d read a little scripture or go online to read blogs and other random searches and silly things, that would help me with strength to help me endure the trials and tribulations for what I’m going through because this is a long hard battle and it’s far from being over. I’ve been fighting this disease for 20-25 years and the past 2 1/2 have been the worse ever. So I have a ways to go yet and I have resigned myself to that fact. I love the fact there is so much support online especially when it is so hard to get it at home because when you feel like your losing your mind you can check in with others and know that no, your not losing it, it’s just the disease.

    And this is the best way I’ve been able to vent about my migraine disease and my comorbidites. I am thinking about getting one of those inflatable punching bags, but not one that has a clown on it because those smiling clown faces kind of freak me out. I don’t think I’d be able to even look at it, LOL.

    PS,
    If you punch your pillows, make sure they are
    not stuffed with feathers-too messy if they explode 🙂

  • tucker
    7 years ago

    OMG, I just thought about the pillow thing again after I typed mine. When my boys were 3 and snarky little “NO!” monsters, I used to go outside on the deck and do deep breathing while they’d stare at me with those big sad eyes out the glass door. But if I just couldn’t take it any more, I’d beat on pillows or the bed with things – like rolling pins or plastic bats. It felt so good.

    Mind you these same boys are 13 now and still act like 3 yr olds sometimes. But every morning they kiss me and tell me they love me. And I tell them right back and say “have a nice day, Hosea”. So even though they may be the source of my brain pain sometimes, I guess I’ll just have to hit them with a pillow when I hurt too much – maybe one with nice soft feathers though! hehe

  • Nancy Harris Bonk moderator
    7 years ago

    Good to hear Julie! Take it slow and try not to overdo it on the bike. Remember we are here!

  • Julie
    7 years ago

    Yes Nancy. I will check out the forums and keep up w/my online contacts and the journal. I got on my exercise bike the other day to vent but over did it-got dizzier than heck-had to crawl up the stairs as it is in the basement. I need to work back up to that slowly. But everyone on this site has been great!

  • Nancy Harris Bonk moderator
    7 years ago

    Hi Julie,

    I was going to tell you how lucky you are to have a good friend to vent to. But you may be right about her not having as much time seeing as she is getting remarried. Journal writing is wonderful idea and helps many people get in touch with what is bothering them. Don’t forget, you can always come here and vent. Have you been over to the forum yet? Let me give you that information; http://migraine.com/forums/

  • Julie
    7 years ago

    I knew it would come to this. My friend of 30 years got remarried so she will not have as much free time as before, so I will have to find a different way of venting. I had started journaling and had started getting back into poetry-had not done that since my Sophmore or JR year of high school. So I’m going to need to find another outlet of venting. Will have to think on that one later.

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