Wait, what was I saying?

Wait, What Was I Saying?

Pill Reminder

Last week I was filling up my weekly med box. It’s big. I have one row for morning meds and another row for evening meds.  There’s something like 14 pills in there per day over 9 different meds (including OTC supplements). It’s a lot. I actually have it written down so that I know which med I take at what time of the day. It takes a little while to fill up my pill box. It also acts as a reminder of what I’m running low on.

During this weekly task, I threw away an entire bottle of Clonidine by accident. I mistook it for an empty bottle that I put in the trash. A hand palm to the face and lots of mumbling to myself about how could I have done this? I was able to retrieve the bottle, since it only took me about four hours to realize my mistake.

To Do List      

Today, I wrote out a list of random things that I need to do. Consider it a serious Type A personality trait. Over the years, though, I realize that this is a necessity to keep my Migraine brain straight. After making some progress, I went to cross out the items I had accomplished. I wrote “make dinner” twice. Really, Katie? The list was only 10 items long and two of them said to make dinner. Truthfully, I don’t make dinner very often but was determined to do it tonight. At least I got to cross two items off the list when I really only did one task.

Wait, what was I saying?

Recently, I was having an in-depth medical conversation with a friend of mine who is a doctor. She is very invested and interested in my current medical condition. I had a perfect train of thought and wanted to make a point about a treatment I had just received. Instead, I completely stumbled mid-sentence. Completely blanking on not only what my point was, but what in the world was I talking about? I looked over at my boyfriend for help, hoping he was following my train of thought and could finish my point, but he had no clue. All I could do was admit that I completely blanked and blamed it on not feeling well. Luckily my friends know me well enough and just changed the subject.

Migraine Brain

I bring these things up because I find myself forgetting things more than usual. Could it be medications? Could it just be that my brain is tired from firing constant Migraines and doesn’t work like it used to? Is it just old age? I have no idea. I just know that it’s frustrating. That’s why I have to-do lists, calendar reminders and keep journals of questions and ideas. But even those aren’t fool-proof.

I don’t always trust my judgment or my memory so I sometimes become quiet during a normal conversation with friends, letting them carry the conversation. It wasn’t always like that. When I was working, my boss relied on me to remember serious details about 30-50 complex commercial real estate deals. I could remember the most minuscule detail about a loan we closed four years ago and hadn’t looked at since. I used to pride myself on being the go-to person for institutional knowledge.

It’s just another casualty of having Chronic Migraines. I can implement measures to use as a crutch, but it’s not a guarantee that it will always help. I worry about looking stupid in front of others or forgetting an important errand I promised to do. All I can do is blame it on the Migraine Brain.

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