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Good Migraine Citizenship

Good Migraine Citizenship

Online support groups can be a life-saver for many with migraine who are too sick to socialize any other way. Having the support of others who understand what you are going through is priceless. I’ve participated in several of these groups for over the past decade. Sometimes the experience has been helpful. At other times I have been greatly disappointed.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that having a migraine diagnosis does not exempt us from being human. Our support groups are vulnerable to the same challenges as any group of people. We can be a source of uplifting encouragement to each other. We can also be petty, small-minded, and territorial.

It hurts everyone when we are ugly to each other.

  • We all know that migraine can present in an infinite number of ways, yet we insist on challenging the veracity of each other’s experiences.
  • We also know that no one treatment works equally well for everyone, yet we insist on shoving our preferred treatment down the unsuspecting throats of strangers.
  • We get so excited about our own success that we ignore the posting rules of individual communities.
  • Instead of working together, we’ve separated ourselves in to cliques, creating an “us vs. them” attitude toward our fellow patients.

Why in the world would we ever let our differences become so big that we break into divided factions? Our differences should never be greater than the cause that unites us.

We can do better.

We’re all facing this disease together. As difficult as it is sometimes, we need to remember what brought us together in the first place. We felt isolated and misunderstood — desperate for answers to a problem few people even take seriously. Let’s not let our differences divide us.

The next time you are tempted to accuse someone of “not really having migraine” or have the urge to share your “miracle” unsolicited, stop and think how you might feel if the same were directed at you.

Be accepting, gracious, and empathetic.

Treat other people as you want to be treated.

We’re all human and words really can break us.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Migraine.com team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

  • Christi
    3 years ago

    Thank you for such a wonderful article. I can not tell you how close to my life it comes. Migraine runs freely in my family, my sister, my brother, my daughter and my son. It has no sense of fairness. I neglected to mention my grandmother and others who have passed and no longer have to fight this fight. I have seen my sibling tell someone, “oh, that is not a migraine, it is just a headache, you should feel what I have to go through.” I felt such shame, even though it was not me, it was someone in my family, and that meant they should have known better. See, there I was making a judgement of my own.
    It is so hard to remain “emotionless” about Migraine. I just wanted to thank you. It made me look at myself yet again and make sure of how I treat others. Have a wonderful day.
    Hugs, Christi

  • scitro
    3 years ago

    Being in this group has been so beneficial for me. It has helped me to see that I am not alone and that acknowledging my pain does not make me a whiner. There are so many just like me that only get support from this kind group. If I see a method used that I don’t know about I quickly check it out and see if it might work. Many times in this group is the only place I will read about it.Just like tonight I had never heard of a “blackout” for a migrainer. There is always something to learn. I wish there was a way our doctors could prescribe a video for family members to view to help them understand.

  • possible cure
    3 years ago

    Dear Tammy, i have been trying to help people on this forum for a possible cure for migraine. I Have been consistently doing so since fifteen years now with guaranteed results. Please read on….
    I can see you wearing specs in your photgraph. In all probability it was prescribed way back. But you must have had difficulty adjusting to it for few days initially. I believe you still have some problems with it as of now. Please let me know if ‘does ambient brightness increases when you put on your glasses?’ (Alternatively do the objects seen become very sharp with lots of ‘unnatural’contrast).

  • Joanna Bodner moderator
    3 years ago

    Hi there possible cure,
    Thank you for your comment. I am so happy to read that you have found an effective treatment! This is wonderful news. All to often we read of unsuccessful results, so it is always uplifting to read these comments! You are more than welcome to share the information related to this as long as you are not selling this product. As our community rules state:

    *Posts cannot promote the sale of anything, ever. We do not allow users to offer to sell any items of any kind.

    It is also important to remember that migraine has no cure (at least yet), so we would hate to provide false hopes to our community. You can read more about it here, but as Kerrie, our contributor points out in this article is that, “There is no cure for migraine. You might find a treatment that keeps you from having another migraine attack for the rest of your life, but you will not be cured of migraine. Migraine is a lifelong genetic neurological disorder.”

    Thanks again for your comment!
    Joanna (Migraine.com Team)

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