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Episodic vs Chronic Migraine Household

There is a challenge within in household when one party is chronic and one party is episodic. I know for most of you, the idea of having a spouse who is episodic while you are chronic seems like an amazing idea, but it’s not all it is cracked up to be all of the time. At times it can be very helpful, such as when I am in a ton of pain and he can see that I need to lay down. But it can also be a disadvantage because he is so used to me being in pain so much more than he is that sometimes he can be become desensitized to just how bad it really can be for me some days.

Guilt over missing weekend outings

I feel bad on the weekends because he wants to go out all of the time and wants to get out of the house. This is understandable because he has worked long hours all week and does not want to feel cooped up at home all weekend like he does at work. This gets hard for me because my chronic migraines are by no means controlled and I also have other pain conditions such as fibromyalgia. I do not want to make him feel like he is trapped in the house with me or stuck going out to do things alone, but when my pain is off the charts I am just not physically able to pretend and go with him for his various outings. Unfortunately, it is very obvious when he is upset about me not wanting to go out with him. This of course definitely makes me feel upset because I feel like I am letting him down.

Splitting up house work

This is an area of a huge struggle for us. I have joked with some friends that I really do believe men are blind to the sink full of dishes, the laundry baskets of dirty or even clean laundry, and even the fact that the dogs need to be fed and watered. At times I find this beyond aggravating because I feel as though he should take this into consideration, especially when I am completely miserable. But unless I ask, he generally does not do it and if I do ask, he pretty much pouts while doing whatever I asked him to do. While I do not work right now and that should mean that I should have more time to get all of the household and chores done. Something that used to be so easy is now so difficult due to my pain levels from the chronic migraine and fibromyalgia.

Ultimately, to manage these kinds of issues within the household, both partners need to be able to talk all of the issues at hand and hopefully be able to come to some type of agreement to meet in the middle that works for both parties.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.


  • Mahtowagal
    2 years ago

    I totally understand! I have suffered with migraines X Muscle Tension since I was a kid. I can remember my mom having to drive me home from Brownies because the pain was so bad. My headaches have increased in frequency and duration over the last 15 years (I’m 58) I went to a neurologist years ago but after having horrible side effects on numerous drugs (Zomig, Maxalt, beta blockers, other triptophans) I quit following doctors and started searching out from friends suggestions. I was introduced to Immitrex which was a life saver for me. I take 1/2 pill and need to be able to lay down but the pain will be gone within 2 hours and I have experienced no negative side effects. That being said, I KNOW it’s not helping my body. My husband has been very compassionate but we have horses and dogs…and I care for all of them. My stress level shoots up when I have to be in bed and he needs to be in charge of the animals. FINALLY I was introduced to CBD oil.. OMG!!!! I cannot believe how many people are missing out on this fantastic product!!!!! People with fibromyalgia, like you…or anxiety, depression, panic attacks, arthritis, plus an exhaustive list of other chronic ailments are being helped DRAMATICALLY but we are not hearing about it!!!! Big Pharma is going to take a hit over this…but people need to get off of these harmful drugs!!!!!!! I also give it to my horses and dogs…it has been phenomenal. My dogs are no longer on joint supplements. My horses are off of the daily Equioxx (NSAID) and injections. They are SO HAPPY! We need to spread the word on this. Seriously.

  • Mahtowagal
    2 years ago

    You do have to be careful about brands though. There are many junk products out there. Look for full spectrum oil…no fillers. This is the one I use.

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