Taking Care of Yourself With Migraine
There is so much baggage that comes along with migraine. Anyone who suffers from migraine I’m sure can attest to that. Migraineurs carry tremendous amounts of guilt, disappointment, and fear along with them each day.
We fear when the next attack will be. We have to process the countless times we’ve been disappointed or disappoint others due to migraine. One of the biggest burdens we carry, I feel, is guilt. I personally hate feeling guilty about having this disease. It wears on me daily, but there are days when these burdens are a little lighter, thankfully.
The fear that accompanies migraine is different for everyone. I had some specific fears such as: When would the next big attack hit? Would I get to my rescue medications fast enough? Would I have enough medication to treat all my attacks? There was also a fear of having to go to the emergency room, as I never knew how I would be treated despite being hospitalized twice due to migraine.
I have learned to be mindful of my potential triggers and do my best to take care of myself. This altered lifestyle has helped to minimize some of my fear, but there are days that fear still gets the best of me.
Disappointing myself and others
Being a disappointment is also tied into fear for me but it is in and of itself different as well. It’s true, I don’t want to be a disappointment to those around me, and that is something I struggle with daily. Migraine has left me disappointed as much as it has left me being the one who disappoints. That’s hard to reconcile at times, but you have to deal with it just like anything else in life.
There have been many times my plans were either changed or canceled due to migraine, and that puts a strain on your life. My wife and children have been disappointed more times than I’d like to admit, but that’s just how things go sometimes with migraine. We’ve all found ways to reconcile those times and move ahead with life.
Guilt and migraine
I’ve spent a great deal of time trying to figure out why guilt is so dominant in the lives of migraineurs and myself. I even would go as far as saying it’s a co-morbid state that lives inside of us due to migraine disease. I also think guilt is tied closely to anxiety and depression, especially in my circumstances.
I feel guilty for having to leave my career of thirty years and relinquish my role as a provider for our family. I am grateful my wife was able to step in and take over that role for me after being out of the workforce for twenty-five years, but I feel guilty nonetheless. I had to give myself time to mourn the loss of my career and to come to terms with the guilt and depression that such a loss created.
Migraineurs are strong, resilient people. We can overcome great difficulties in life through faith, perseverance, and steadfastness.
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