A violently snapped pencil with shards around it.

Frustrated? That's Okay!

I have heard from community members time and time again that they are just fed up with migraine. It’s unpredictable. It’s inconvenient. It steals time and joy, and it doesn’t respond well to attempts of relief for many folks. It is like a pesky enemy that knows way too many personal details, has successfully committed identity theft, and just won’t go away. Ugh.

Given that migraine is just plain awful, it is perfectly okay to be frustrated. I know that many times in the community we talk about seeing the good through the pain, finding hope, and focusing on our strength, but sometimes all we want to do is tell migraine to kick the bucket! That’s okay.

Permission to be mad

I find personally, that feeling mad can be a source of stress for me, and can even cause me to feel anxious and trigger a migraine. Sometimes, however, I don’t want to put a face on. Sometimes I don’t want to see the good. Sometimes I just want to be angry with the fact that migraine steals so much. I don’t want to dwell in that feeling, but surely it is okay to feel a wide range of emotions as a person, and anger and frustration are a part of experiencing pain. I certainly do not like to let it consume me, but I think it can actually be healthy to admit that, hey, this thing sucks sometimes. Okay, a lot of the time.

Honesty is a great policy

Figuring out how to be honest about my feelings and experiences means understanding them. I can’t very well be honest if I commit to ignoring or pushing aside negative feelings all of the time. I believe that understanding comes from sitting with and dealing with the reality before me. This is especially true when it comes to migraine, and is crucial for me being able to cope.

Along with dealing with migraine, I also experience depression and a lot of my feelings feedback between the two conditions. Being honest with the fact that sometimes I feel darkness, or sadness, or frustration helps me to get past those feelings sometimes. Burying my feelings, on the other hand, can leave me feeling overwhelmed and ill-equipped at handling stress and commitments.

Confronting stigma

There is a lot of stigma around migraine, what it looks like, and what it feels like. Part of combating the stigma of migraine is acknowledging the real impact it has, physically and emotionally. The more we honestly paint the picture of its impact, the more seriously it can be taken in society. Sometimes I lay in bed the entire day feeling upset and in pain. No, I am not lazy as stigma might have some believe. I am in pain. Learning to confront, not push aside migraine’s impact on my life helps me to be a better and more genuine advocate against false characterizations of folks living with migraine. That includes acknowledging that it is not all rainbows and hope.

Balancing the positive

Sometimes migraine leaves me feeling thankful for the relationships I’ve formed because of it. Other times it leaves me hopeful for the future, because of the amazing work I see done in the community by people living with it. Yet other times, it leaves me inspired because I see those who have successfully achieved some of the same dreams I have with migraine.

People living with migraine are varied, unique, and experience so many emotions related to the disease. Frustration and other difficult feelings exist alongside the positive. It is important to remember that each of us leads a unique life and that it is okay to feel what we feel.

Do you find yourself struggling to deal with the varied emotions and experiences of feeling that comes with migraine? Let’s discuss in the comments!

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This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Migraine.com team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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