There is a Jekyll and Hyde in All of Us
Whether you suffer from episodic or chronic migraine, or you are a caregiver to someone who does, there seems to be two different people inside each of us when it comes to dealing with both the symptoms and the doctors.
The good days
If you are a patient who suffers but are in between migraine attacks, you probably try as best as you can to be happy and productive for every second you have relief. This is true even if you only have partial relief for most of us. We have all learned to cherish these times because they are very few and far between.
Likewise, as a caregiver, when your loved one is feeling relief, you yourself feel a momentary sense of relief. These are the days or times that you feel like, you have your loved ones back. As a result, whenever it is possible, you try to find something the two of you enjoy doing, and try like hell to do it before another migraine sneaks in.
Various ways to spend the good times
Some find it in their best interest to take it easy, get some quality rest, go out on an adventure or simply lay on the couch and watch movies. Others may feel it necessary to go spend time with family they were unable to spend time with before because a migraine robbed them of that time.
In our house, it really just depends on what needs to be done at home when those days come. While we do try to get out to lunch or perhaps a movie that’s in the theatres, mostly we use the time to help each other with chores at home. Days like this are short lived so we spend part of the day doing those things and then the other part of the day praying that it lasts a bit longer.
During these times, you will find it is much easier to talk to your healthcare provider about how well or poorly a given medication is or is not working. These are probably the best times to discuss new options because both the patient and the caregiver are thinking clearly
The bad days
When you are in the clutches of a bad migraine, the whole world seems to fall apart around you. Light hurts. Sound hurts. In some cases, even being touched hurts. You try to push yourself to fight through it but the nausea is simply more than you can bear. If someone tried to describe your personality on one of these days, they would likely use words like; sad, depressed, irritable and genuinely unhappy.
As a caregiver, when these days come, your first instinct is to go through the known remedies one at a time in the hopes that at least one of them will help before you have exhausted your list. This is a stressful time for you and frustrations abound with your loved one's doctor. You’ll feel like the doctor does not care, or they simply aren’t trying hard enough. You might even believe the,y are too stubborn to research new options.
From personal experience I can say that this is not the best frame of mind to address what you believe your doctor’s shortcomings may be. It almost always comes across poorly, and it rarely has a positive outcome.
Consider the current state of mind
I would not begin to tell anyone how they should feel when dealing with a loved ones pain. I would however caution you to consider WHO is reaching out during the bad times. Is it Jekyll, or are you prepared for the results that Hyde may end up with.
Can you tell when a migraine attack is coming?