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Migraine at Midnight: It’s nearly New Years’ Eve

Migraine at Midnight: It’s Nearly New Years’ Eve

…and I’m anxious that I’ll be the party damper again. The one having to find the host to ask If I can lay down somewhere cool and quiet, or if someone has a cloth I can wet with cold water to put over my eyes, or if the music can be turned down a little, or if anyone is sober enough to drive me home because my head hurts again. It’s a feeling I am sure many who suffer from migraines have felt: dissonance between wanting to go out and have fun, and knowing going out might leave you feeling sick and in pain. Beyond the chance of getting sick, having to rely on others to get through the night on a special occasion, or feeling like a fly on the wall unable to really participate because of Migraine symptoms, can be really anxiety inducing.

When migraine and anxiety steal the show

Migraine pain can be debilitating, and dealing with it has often caused me to have to do not-very-fun things like cancel plans with friends, or leave dinner with family early, or call out of work just before a shift begins. These situations can be tricky to navigate, and never feel good. On a particularly social night like NYE the last thing I want when my friends are having a good time enjoying each other’s company, is to feel like I am watching from the outside in, with throbbing pain in my head and eyes, contemplating whether or not I am going to have to do the not-very-fun-thing again and cancel.

FOMO (fear of missing out) hits me hard during these situations, and I find myself trying to push past my pain often times so that I don’t appear absent. I also actually really like to be out dancing to loud music, having drinks with friends, and spending my time off of work in a celebratory manner, so being excited about doing the things that make me happy only to have them cut short can be infuriating. 

Social events also are likely to leave me feeling guilty  because I have to ask for help and attention from others who are trying to enjoy themselves, and often feel like I require too much responsibility and attention from others when I am having an attack, so much so that I sometimes cancel out on plans to make sure I won’t be a bother to others. I even sometimes settle into feeling like I don’t deserve to have fun, or as if I need  to make up for all the times my friends have had to take care of me when I have been in pain from migraine. Ick! With all of these anxieties weighing down on me prior to and during social gatherings, it can be hard to actually enjoy outings in the moment.

Taking back the night

In an effort to challenge my anxieties, I have written a few resolutions to myself for NYE night and beyond, as a means to encourage myself when I am feeling down and doubtful because of my migraine disease:

  1. I am resolving to affirm to myself that migraine disease does not make me undeserving of a good night out.
  2. I am resolving to view myself as valuable, and not a bother or a burden just because I have migraine disease and require assistance sometimes.
  3. I am resolving to try to feel less guilty about friends helping me out when I’m in pain, especially when good friendships can be and are reciprocal when it comes to taking care of one another.
  4. I am resolving to listen to my body and not let abstract FOMO keep me in a painful situation, and alternatively, I am equally resolving to not let my anxiety about migraines keep me from going out when I want to.

What are some of your resolutions for the new year as pertains to migraine? Do you ever feel conflicted trying to balance your interests and your migraines? Let me know in the comments!

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Migraine.com team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

  • Imjcn
    1 year ago

    Your article hit the nail on the head, my head. I had a migraine on New Year’s Day, again, I don’t know how many years in a row it’s been.
    I’ve quit going out, I’ve quit staying up late, I’ve quit drinking, in fact I really don’t do much of anything but work or stay home anymore. And then I still get migraines. I’m on super-duper doses of preventive tpoamax, I get Botox injections, I take anti-depressants and muscle relaxants.
    I feel bad for you young people getting diagnosed with migraines. I’ve have had chronic migraines for over 30 years and I have a very changed life from before-migraine. I am a different person. A boring, lifeless person. I can’t plan anything and don’t. I started getting migraines as a child. I was in my 30’s when finally diagnosed with chronic migraine when I started getting them evert other week. They progressively got worse.
    It took me until I was about 45 until I realized there was no getting rid of the migraines, no miracle cure. Botox has done its best but I still get some ER worthy classics.
    If I had known this would be my life, this painful life… At least I know why my mother committed suicide. I could not do it. I could not do that to my kids. Be strong, have a good support group around you. You may grow out of it at menopause. I won’t.

  • Buah
    4 months ago

    I am sorry you live like that. I guess other people live sililar to the way I do.
    I hear you about your mother, Botox, & never going out.
    I also deal with tinnitus, and gettting sick almost every time I eat, even though I’m down to about 6 to 8 foods.
    I never thought I’d live to see 48, or that I’d still be struggling not to freak out every time they cut my meds.
    I’m concerned about having to stop eating entirely if they keep up the cuts.
    But who knows?
    Today the pain got down to 5 for an HOUR-A FREAKING RECORD. 🙂

    It’s dark, smack dab in the middle of winter, I’ve been in bed almost 13 hours, forced a sauna and gym workout within the last 3 days, avoided most foods, noise, lights, all music, TV -you get the idea.
    Maybe it was the Bible study?
    God smiled on me today.
    Maybe it will happen again soon.

    Attemping support groups in pain again is next on the 80 mile long “to-do” list.

    Please hang in there, if only for your Faith & those who love you.

  • Kyky Knight moderator author
    1 year ago

    Imjcn,

    Thank you so much for sharing your experiences, and for your well wishes. It can be impossible sometimes to maintain professional and personal relationships and I empathize with the experience of not doing things we once did because of chronic pain.

    I am so sorry to hear of the severity to which you have dealt with migraine over the years, and the ways it has affected many areas of your life. Please know you are not alone here in the community. I am sending a lot of encouragement your way this morning. I am also saddened to hear that migraine so severely affected your mother, and send my condolences. Thank you so much for being a part of this community, we value you and your thoughts and experiences and are glad to have you.

  • voiceofjoyce
    1 year ago

    Thank you sooooooo much, Kyky!

    I really appreciate you sharing your Resolves. Mine are very similar and it’s great to have validation and reinforcement. I have great friends and family who are incredibly supportive even if some don’t understand, and yet I still have FOMO and FOLD (Fear of Letting others Down). This haunts me constantly and creates a tremendous amount of anxiety. Picking up the pieces and sifting through the fall-out after an episode can be almost as debilitating as the episode itself.

    Keeping positive and using gratitude meditation and EFT (Tapping – in conjunction with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) help me stay out of that debilitating downward spiral of anxiety and negative beliefs that love to creep in whenever aloud. Whenever I start to feel like a burden, I ask myself if it was one of MY loved ones, would they feel like a burden to me? The answer is almost always a resounding, “NO, of course not.”

    As we progress into 2018 my hope is that everyone, especially those with chronic pain and disease, will treat themselves and others with kindness and compassion. It sounds like you are off to a terrific start. Thanks again for your post.

    Wishing all health and happiness in the New Year!

  • Kyky Knight moderator author
    1 year ago

    Voiceofjoyce,

    Your comment made me feel so encouraged, thank you! I am glad to know:

    1) That we have similar resolutions (because it is always wonderful to be reminded that we are not alone!) and

    2)That you too have a great support network! It can definitely feel kind of confusing for me knowing that the people around me are understanding and supportive and yet STILL feeling like I have something to make-up for/hide/or seek extra accomodation for. I so appreciate your perspective of ‘put on their shoes’ as a way to navigate those feelings of guilt and doubt. I am also glad to know that you have found ways to remain positive through methods that work for you!

    Thank you for your own kindness and compassion, and for engaging.

    Kyky

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