A Mother’s Perspective
I have done a series of these articles that describe the various perspectives of individuals in my life pertaining to my life with chronic migraine. In this particular article, my mother sat down and analyzed the questions I presented to her. Her first response to me was that the questions were hard to answer but nonetheless she managed to get through them.
What is the hardest part about watching your child deal with chronic migraine?
Watching their everyday struggle to simply get through everyday activities, that most of us take for granted is extremely hard.
Do you think chronic migraine has changed her?
I’m honestly not sure how much it has changed her, since I am her mom and I was with her as the migraines were progressing as she was growing up through her teenage years. It is hard to know what changes were her growing up and what changes were due to episodic migraines that became chronic during her college years.
Do you think it has affected the dynamic of her relationship with you?
No, I do not think it has because I have migraines occasionally and this makes me more understanding of what she is most likely dealing with on a daily basis.
Do you think it has affected the dynamic of their relationship with other family members?
Yes, I do because other family members do not always understand the struggle that it takes for her to make it through the day much, less to make it to family functions and the struggle to get through the family function itself. Having chronic pain all the time wears you out. This leaves you with a very limited amounted of energy left over at the end of the day to deal with family functions such as birthday parties and dinners. But not all of the family members understand this aspect and can choose to be unsupportive and borderline rude about the situation.
Do you have a message or thoughts for other family members and the individual that suffer from migraines?
As far as the family members go, you really need to be more understanding and you should try to be aware of what your family member is going through. It is not as simple as suck it up and push through it. Until you experience an extremely bad migraine, you have no idea of how bad the pain can be and how awful it can leave you feeling afterwards. A migraine is definitely nothing like a bad headache. There really should be some type of migraine simulation to give unsupportive family members a “migraine” so they can better understand what somebody with chronic migraine is actually facing.
As far as for the individual that suffers from migraines, do not accept subpar care from the medical community, change doctors if you are not getting what you need from the current doctor. It is important to explore all your options and research medications and treatments and ask your doctor if you come across something that seems like it may work. Also, do not be afraid to tell your family that you cannot attend an event if you do not have the energy to do so.
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