My Good Month

I'm trying not to think about it too much

I honestly can't remember the last time I have had only three migraines per week. And we're talking one severe, two easily treated. This pattern has been going on now for at least a month or maybe more. It has now been seven weeks since I've been to the ER. Previously, for about the last year, I have had to go every 3-4 weeks.

Three migraines per week is not chronic.

I've stated previously that my migraines are cyclical. I am not at all hoping or assuming that this will last. But I can't help thinking about the fact that even in a healthier phase, I have never (that I can remember, and granted, my memory is poor) had this many good, productive days. Maybe not since college, or right afterward. We're talking almost twenty years.

One possibility is that I received more of the CGRP medicine at my last appointment. This particular study is looking at the effectiveness of different dosages, so every month I get a different amount. Some months, I get none at all. That is the difficulty with clinical trials; participants aren't really patients. We're numbers. We're data to be studied. I feel so lucky to have H on my side, as my friend and study coordinator, and not everyone has that. And here I am, sitting at my laptop right now at five AM, binge watching Parenthood on Netflix and writing and listening to my husband and dog snore and enjoying many days of a clear head and a happy heart.

And, pretty much, the study seems to me to be the most likely cause of my good run, other than the fact that, like I said, the headache part of my migraine disease is cyclical. But this is... I haven't felt this consistently pain-free in so long.

I feel like the improvement is different this time. I made it through my usual depression phase when my pain decreased. I came out the other side.

I don't think this is going to last.

I don't think that I have made the transition back to episodic.

But what if I have?

And if I did get a higher dose of the CGRP and that explains my good month, and next month I get a lower dose and don't do as well, then... I guess I'm thrilled that I've had this time. And I can look forward to CGRP meds being approved by the FDA and I will for dang sure request the highest dose available. If it's not the CGRP, then all the better, because that means I'm just improving on my own.

I'm still needing 3 Imitrex per week. I'm still spending one day a week in bed. But compared to how I've been living the past ten years... oh my gosh. I feel like I suddenly have a real life. And even if it changes and goes back to the way it was, I'm grateful.

And you guys... if it is the CGRP that caused this, how much hope is there for all of us? 37 million people in this country on the migraine disease spectrum. We don't have too much longer to wait. I'm so lucky to get to participate in these studies, but we are all lucky. Because it's happening. The first preventative migraine-specific medication is going to be available to everyone soon. Very few to no side effects. Possible other benefits like the fact that it seems to be cumulative. H told me that rather than it wearing off or ceasing to be effective, it works better over time. I've also read that it may be helpful for PTSD, and I've noticed myself that it seems to ease depression. Hope. Gratitude and hope.

Hang in there, because help is on the way.

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