Powerless

As the primary at home caregiver to my wife, I have had quite a bit of experience in dealing with her chronic migraine pain. She has a number of medications to take, a migraine cave to escape to, pain pals to cuddle with and a comfortable bed to rest in. That being said, sometimes those things are not enough to give her some comfort from the migraine attacks.

Hurricane Harvey still stinging

We still have construction going on at the house, both inside and outside from Hurricane Harvey. The heat and humidity of south Texas have been pretty brutal. We have both had difficulties staying hydrated because when you feel like crap, all you want to do is to go lay down and sleep (if you can), so in turn we are not drinking as much water as we should be.

My wife’s struggle

My wife being in extreme constant pain is difficult to watch. She tries extremely hard to stay positive, but when her chronic migraine pain sticks around for extended periods at intense levels, it takes a toll on her. I can see where it chips away at her positivity until it is all gone. It eventually drags her into a depressive state and then completely drains her energy level.

We have been struggling through for over a week now and she is just miserable. Going to an emergency room is useless for migraines where we live. These days calling her neurologist office (or sending a message through their patient portal) is pointless as they do not return calls or messages.

If they are able to figure out the logistics in time, it looks like the new neurologist did get her Botox approved through the new insurance after a gap since October. I am hoping that will give her some relief because it helped quite a bit in the past. She is typically sore at the injection sites and has a pretty bad migraine for a day or two after the injections but then she has much less migraine intensity for a while afterwards.

My challenges

Lately I have not been as much help to her as I feel that I should. I get up and go to work at four in the morning, then I get home and work on finishing the work on the house that is far from being finished until between six and eight at night. It is exhausting and when I do actually come inside to rest or sit with my wife, it is time to take a shower and get ready for bed so I can do it all over in the morning.

I feel like I have left her to fend for herself in all of it, even though I am physically there. I know she doesn’t see it that way, it just stresses me out that I cannot do more for her. Thinking about all of it also strip my own positivity away which makes it hard to keep her thinking positive. It seems like a vicious cycle that we are trapped in.

Do you ever feel powerless due to your or a loved ones chronic migraine? Are there things that you do to keep perspective and stay positive? Feel free to share your thoughts and feedback with us. It is far too easy to fall into the trap of thinking we are all alone when dealing with chronic long-term pain.

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