I'm Too Tired
I’m too tired.
I’m too tired to tell you I can’t today.
I’m too tired to explain why I can’t come (again).
I’m too tired to lift my head off this tear-stained pillow to give today another try.
I'm too tired to get up and try to start a day that I know will end in misery, tears, and frustration from my family for simply not doing enough.
My migraine meds aren’t working
The ones where it took 6 weeks to authorize.
I’m sick of the step-therapy.
I’m sick of my abortive pills being rationed so I am never actually able to use them.
I’m sick of insurance companies holding medications over my head that could drastically improve my quality of life - if they actually approved them.
My daily life is exhausting me
I’m too exhausted and in pain to explain to my significant other that halfway through doing the dishes I got woozy again. I’m too tired to think of what he really thinks of me and how much more of this he can handle. Of how much more of this, I can handle.
I’m tired of lying down at night, exhausted and in pain, because my head, neck, and ears hurt so much I know this will be a long night - one that I am awake for all of it.
I hate going to bed knowing that tomorrow will likely be the same and that I’ll wake up and have to do it all over again, just like I did yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that.
I’m tired of being depressed because none of my coworkers know what hemiplegic migraine is and how serious it can be. I’m depressed because I feel like absolutely nobody will believe me, even my own family.
My body has endured so much
I’m tired of swallowing pills I know are no help to me at all.
I’m tired of knowing exactly what is best for me and what works and having thin red tape, doctors, and insurance companies.
I’m tired of spending endless hours on the phone with my insurance company and my doctor’s office only to be denied a 3rd time for a medication I was on for a year before with the same insurance.
I’m tired of getting expensive brain scans and lumbar punctures to make sure “nothing else” is wrong with me when the main problems of hemiplegic migraine aren’t addressed even though they know what’s wrong. How many more invasive tests will it take to just show that the medications I was previously on worked, were manageable, and were safe, in my opinion, for me?
I’m tired of being a guinea pig.
I’m tired of being in pain.
I'm tired of working like a zombie, wondering what other people must think of me.
I’m tired of not being listened to.
When was your last migraine check-up?