The Unfunny Meme
I recently saw a meme online that said: “Not to be dramatic, but one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do was get out of bed this morning“.
I know this is supposed to be sarcastic, but I want to take a moment to step on my soapbox and say that the past few months have been some of the most excruciating, patience-testing months I’ve ever been through.
Support for getting through the small stuff
The support you give to someone who is going through the smallest of things makes the world of a difference. For someone who has constantly struggled to get out of bed lately because my pain is so bad at this point, it’s hard to even explain to people, so in all honesty, I don’t. I try smiling and hiding it but I’m not great at that and it gets hard.
Waiting in pain
When all your care team can do is tell you to wait 3-6 months to see progress or decide on a big surgery, a lot of mental warfare gets thrown your way. All I have been doing is counting hours and days. Sometimes I count the number of times I vomit or am in the bathroom. That breaks me, as I think “You can get through today. And then in a few days, it will be another week. And in 4 weeks at your next dose and then 8 after that, maybe we will see all of the changes!!” It breaks me.. the counting. But the pain breaks me more.
Pain leads to fatigue
I’m working part-time and thank god I was shown when I was last year that full-time work is just not in store for me right now. Fatigue is something that people often get wrong with me. Lately, because of pain and nausea from the physical breakdown of my body (to not detail too much), naps have been crucial for me to function.
Each person with an illness, in remission or far from, copes and struggles with bumps and challenges in their own way. This is my thank you to those who have taken the time to understand, who ask what can be done, have listened even when I didn’t want to talk about it and do things for me to take my mind off of the pain.
You may not see it, but it’s ever there recently, so much worse than I thought these initial weeks would be. Please be gentle, even when I’m smiling and laughing. It’s the only thing some days that help patients in pain get through something so difficult.