The Effects of Migraine on Mental Health

You know those times when you’re lying in bed, doused in peppermint oil, aching all over, nauseous, maybe with your ice pack positioned just so and a mounting pile of soggy tissues? Well, me too. It’s not my favorite place to be. Negative thoughts when migraine attacks These are the moments when I find it hardest to steer clear of bad thoughts. It’s not just the disappointment of missing out on fun or important events, the guilt of not meeting a deadline on time, or even the annoyance at the tumbleweed on my desperate-for-a-vacuum floors. I can mostly handle that stuff. It’s the bigger, scarier thoughts that creep in under the influence of dipping serotonin and dopamine levels. What are my thoughts? Thoughts like: Will I be able to pursue my new career goals? Does this level of disability make me a lousy partner? Will parenting make this worse? Will I always feel this isolated? Will my health ever improve? If it doesn’t, how am I going to manage? Negative thoughts when I feel good I have thoughts like these when I feel good too, but mostly I can reduce them to background noise. And while I know the answers to these questions… (Your career goals are flexible and you’ll do interesting things no matter what; you are not a lousy partner; yes, parenting will probably make this worse; your health is likely to improve over time because of research, and you’ll manage because you always have) …they still encroach with nearly every migraine and cause unnecessary anxiety. And I need to find better ways to deal with them. [native] I'm trying to change my perspective Instead of wallowing in uncertainty about the future, I’m trying to practice gratitude, acceptance, self-love, and being in the present. I’m reading the books. I’m doing the counseling. I’m trying to allow myself to grieve in a cleansing, unremorseful way. But even despite actively pursuing these strategies for years, they never seem to come quite as easily as the nasty, existential, anxiety-causing thoughts. So my other strategy is intense distraction. And what’s the single most effective tool of distraction in human history? The Smartphone! I'm trying distraction I can stare at that thing for hours, my neck all crooked, my eyes burning out of their sockets, my heart melting from cat videos and racing from reading too many comment sections, and barely thinking about big, scary, illogical questions about the future! It’s so effective! The only problem, of course, is that by pouring my attention into that tiny screen all night, my brain hasn’t had much rest, and my body hasn’t gotten any attention either. The tiny screen has either made the migraine last longer or increased my recovery time, thus amping up the pain cycle as a whole. The computer screen: same story. Which makes writing tricky too. In fact, I’m writing with a migraine right now, and I probably shouldn’t be… [I am eternally jealous of people with migraine who aren’t bothered by visual stimulation. ETERNALLY JEALOUS.] Podcasts and music are mostly out too, because, well, they are made of sound. I'm using other tools Sometimes I try coloring, drawing, reading, and gentle stretching during a migraine, but mostly I am still too aware of the pain and bad thoughts for these to be effective. (Side note: the gentle stretch is always worth it.) So, it seems I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place: either I successfully distract myself from the bad thoughts with things that ultimately worsen my pain, or I face my demons. Clearly, I need more tools on the demon-fighting front. How about you? What strategies have helped you deal with the bad thoughts that crop up during an attack? How do you reassure yourself when it seems as if everything could come crashing down? [lead_gen showIfLoggedIn="0" campaign="shortcode" source="site"] With Depression awareness month this October, I wanted to look back to my own experiences. I had almost forgotten that I once struggled with it daily over ten years ago. It held a tight grip around my heart before letting up, but perhaps not completely letting go. I remember watching my favorite show, the X-Files. Mulder sat staring at the gun, contemplating suicide. We hear it go off and the episode ends. I wanted to disappear into the melancholy of Mulder’s universe. It seemed to match my mood a lot better than the mundane routine of 8th grade. What I felt goes beyond teen angst. It wasn’t something that would go away with the right boyfriend, a date to the prom, or an A in math class. It was as deep as my core and wrapped up in me. Feeling better once I saw a therapist For me, the depression finally started to lift when I saw a therapist. I don’t remember what we talked about, except how she said I was just a speck in the universe, and so my emotions were really very small even though they felt large. It sounds overly simple, but I found it to be a powerful lesson that still guides me through dealing with the chronic pain I now experience. [native] A different kind of depression with chronic migraines A few years ago I was stricken suddenly with chronic migraines. The migraines brought on their own type of depression. They led me to a deep, dark mood. I often cried uncontrollably during an attack. I didn't cry from the pain but rather it was an involuntary symptom. After the attack was over, the migraine hangover would bring a feeling of immobility. I remember sitting at my chair willing myself to move, to get up and do something. Sometimes it would take twenty minutes, but I did always push myself up and into action again. I was not depressed during the worst periods of my migraines, but I did revisit many of those old feelings. Dealing with physical and emotional pain In addition to the moods brought on from the attacks themselves, there was the process of coming face to face with sudden illness. All too fast I learned words like "rescue medicine," and "pain scale." It is difficult to describe the darkness one faces when they realize their body has become unreliable and unpredictable. One thing that got me through was mindfulness meditation as a tool to deal with the physical and emotional pain. Like in high school, I felt how small my pain and emotions can be compared to the universe around me. I also was able to find some things that help my migraines. As my migraines improve due to successful treatments, I emerge again my happy self. I know there must be a connection between depression and migraines. So many people suffer from both. And so many of the symptoms, at least for me personally, are wrapped up with each other. Many of you out there will need to know that there are others with migraines who have battled depression, and won. (Don't miss our special section on Migraine & Mental Health if you are curious to learn more.) [lead_gen showIfLoggedIn="0" campaign="shortcode" source="site" title="Sign up for emails from {{site-name}}:"],Depression and anxiety are extremely common among migraine patients. According to a 2010 National Headache Foundation survey, as many as 80% of migraineurs have symptoms of depression. Relaxation techniques and meditation can be helpful in managing the often debilitating symptoms of depression and anxiety. They are great on their own or when combined with other treatments like medication and talk therapy. These techniques can be incredibly helpful in managing migraine symptoms, too. Start with your breath. Breathing slowly and fully is the best place to start when you're feeling anxious. You may not have developed any other relaxation skills yet, but you can still tell yourself to slow down and breathe. Breathing is the key to relaxation and meditation techniques. Explore guided practices. One of the most wonderful things about the Internet is the abundance of free relaxation and meditation resources from amazing teachers. I recommend exploring a few different resources and trying them to see what clicks with you and your taste. Then establish a regular habit of practicing by listening to the guided programs you like and following along. Relaxation techniques take time to build and will help you more and more as your body becomes more accustomed to the process. [native] Get your mind right. It's important to approach these techniques with a spirit of openness toward the process. You don't have to believe any of this will help you, you've just got to be open to the possibility that if you practice the techniques they might become an important additional tool for you to rely on in coping with mental health issues and migraine attacks. Suggested free resources: How to Meditate by Tara Brach (PDF) Meditation Station Podcast by Stin Hansen Be Still & Know: Overcoming Stress & Illness Podcast University of California San Diego Stress & Mindfulness Videos Practice Focused Meditation Suggested resources worth buying: Relaxation Body Scan & Guided Imagery for Well Being by Carolyn McManus Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Mind to Face Stress, Illness & Pain by Jon Kabat-Zinn Break Through Pain by Shinzen Young How to Be Sick by Toni Bernhard Do you have questions about relaxation and meditation? Please share them in the comments. [lead_gen showIfLoggedIn="0" campaign="shortcode" source="site" title="Sign up for emails from {{site-name}}:"] If you live with migraines, nothing I write here will be of surprise to you. In fact, I’m guessing you might read this article and think “Hey, I could’ve written this myself!” However, it feels important to me to talk about the effect of migraines on my mental health, because there is a clear and prevalent connection, and I don’t think my doctors or my family members understand it in the ways that I need them to. How does migraine put my life on hold? Many of the migraines I've suffered over the years have been devastating and even paralyzing. You know the ones. I have to stop whatever I'm doing, find myself a place to lay down in the dark, in the silence, and pray to a higher power I don't even believe in that whatever abortive medication I've taken will do its job, and quickly. During these times, I cannot work, think, drive, cook, parent my child, or do anything deemed necessary and productive. When will my next attack be? How long will it last? When I'm not living in this dark migraine haze, I'm worried - wondering when the next one will attack, how long it'll last, what it'll cancel from my calendar, and who I'll need to ask for help during the interim. How is one supposed to NOT worry about something that literally cancels your life immediately, without warning, and lasts as long as it would like to without any sign of when it'll leave or how much damage it'll do in its wake? [native] What am I missing out on? During migraine attacks, in the aforementioned silent dark room, I'm often alone. If I'm lucky enough to doze off and get some sleep, the time passes more quickly, but if I'm unable to do so, the hours drag on. I find myself feeling sad and lonely during these periods, wondering what others are doing around me, what I'm missing out on, how long I'll have to miss out on things until the attack passes, etc. How long does the depression last? The depression sometimes fades away as I come out of the migraine attack, finding relief from the pain and readjusting to the light and sounds of daily life; but sometimes, it doesn't. Sometimes it stays with me for days afterward, reminding me how hard that experience was, how little others understand what it's like to live with migraines, and even a little bit of a pity party for the fact that migraines are a staple part of my life. How do I care for my mental health? I wish this part were easy to write. Here's a three-part list of how to care for your mental health before, during, and after a migraine to ensure you don't struggle with anxiety and depression the way I do. Unfortunately, we know that this list just doesn't exist...yet. So, here's what I can tell you. There are some things that for me, have lessened the effects of migraines on my mental health, and I thought sharing them might be helpful for you: Tip #1 I keep a small spiral notebook on my nightstand. In it, I write if I'm feeling sad or anxious in relation to a migraine - one that might be coming up, one I'm experiencing, or one that just passed. I can't really explain it, but it helps me to see on paper that I've struggled with these things before and that I've made it through those struggles to the present day. Tip #2 I find that validating my experiences with migraines and mental health is pivotal for my being able to survive them. Whether it's my husband, my best friend, or my therapist, explaining what I have navigated makes me feel seen and heard, even though much of the experience has been silent and only in my head. Tip #3 During periods of high anxiety or depression, be extra kind to yourself. Whether that means reducing your responsibilities, getting some extra sleep, doing something that brings you joy, I find that this helps me stay a bit more grounded while I ride the rollercoaster of emotions. [lead_gen showIfLoggedIn="0" campaign="shortcode" source="site"]

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