Does anyone have trouble recognizing the onset?

Hello: I have had some migraines myself during pregnancy with our daughters, but the person who suffers the chronic migraines is my husband. When a migraine comes on, he has serious brain fog to the point that he cannot focus, can’t answer questions, can’t walk a straight line- basically can’t function. We are having the issue in that he either does not recognize it, or he DOES recognize it but it makes him feel so depressed (he also has depression) he tries to ignore it. The problem is, he then ends up doing things like picking up our kids from school when he is no condition to be driving. Has any one else on here faced it, or have any tips for addressing this? We see a therapist, and this is something we discuss, but I wanted to see if anyone had suggestions.


Community Answers
  • k_nelson
    10 months ago

    I understand how your partner is feeling. Often times I see my symptoms coming, though I try to ignore them because I hope that they will go away. I also don’t tell people because I don’t want to tell them and then feel fine 20 minutes later.
    I think just encourage him to say when he feels symptoms then you two can both work to maybe try to prevent them. Also, if he tells you that he feels a migraine coming and it never comes I think that needs to be seen as a good thing! Because, hey…he didn’t get a migraine!!!

    Just my thoughts. I hope he feels better <3

  • Kyky Knight moderator
    10 months ago

    Hi Jessrobbin,

    Looks like you have already gotten some great feedback from other community members, I agree with Ronan that reminding your partner that it is okay to take a break can be very helpful. Many migraneurs struggle with depression and feelings of guilt when it comes to meeting responsibilities, and it can be really difficult to keep up with our commitments when migraine becomes debilitating. I always think it is a great idea to remind our loved ones who are dealing with those feelings that they are not alone, and that migraine can steal our capacity to do the thing we want to, but that doesn’t make our want to do them any less. I am sending encouragement to your family.

  • Ronan
    10 months ago
  • Ronan
    10 months ago

    My sister recognizes the migraine before I do. Or, I don’t think it’s that bad because I have been through much worse.

    I’d ask your husband if he recognizes the onset because this is what you’re noticing. He may not want to disappoint you either, thinking he should be able to continue on when he shouldn’t be.

    I’d give him a bit of a break. Let him know that it’s k that when he is in pain to let you know. Maybe develop some guidelines re picking the kids up. When it’s safe and when it’s not safe. Let him know what you are seeing and go from there.

    Has he been diagnosed with migraine disease? Has he seen a doctor? If he hasn’t it may be a good time to do it now. That way you can let a professional handle it. I’m sure others will have some advice too.

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