Why? Why can’t I go outside? Why can’t I leave my lights on? Why can’t I find the right word? Why can’t I spell in the middle of a sentence? Why do smells make me so weak? Why does heat make it worse? Why does every move hurt? Why do certain clothes hurt? Why does food taste funny? Why do my ears ring and then go silent? Why must I get so tired? Why is my body fighting against me? Why does my brain feel like it’s boiling from the inside out? Why is every day a struggle? Why, because I have migraines….
I have an invisible disease that you may not see. I have pain you can’t begin to understand. When I say I have a migraine, it could mean so many things. It could mean as little as ringing in my ears before the true pain starts or it could mean I’m in flow blown migraine attack.
You see it’s called an attack for a reason. Think of the battle ship game. First your on the defensive hiding your ships. Position them just right. That’s me every day, making sure I have my sun glasses on and wearing comfortable clothes so I don’t get the attack in the first place. Then your opponent strikes first, a miss. Phew close but you avoided that strong perfume. Your turn! A hit, you took your medicine at the right time. Now you’re a few hours in at work. Your opponent hits one of your ships. Your face starts to get warm, making your brain feel like it’s boiling. You take another dose and hope for the best. Your turn, it’s a hit. Your medicine is kicking in. Their turn, they have a location for one of your ships so you pray they miss. Unfortunately they make another hit, your so tired you sleep for lunch. Your not even strong enough to go on. You forfeit this game.
You have been overcome by this invisible illness. No one truly understands. You go home, take another nap and end this day hoping for a better day tomorrow.