I can’t live like this

I’ve been getting migraines since I was 15, I am 22. I’ve only had 7 years of migraines and I’ve already had enough!

My mum suffers too and it’s all linked to our hormones. Around our time of the month we get cluster migraines and they are relentless.

I have missed so many opportunities, so many social events and so much work due to migraines. I am miserable.

My boyfriend and my friends, they don’t understand the pain, nor the effect it has on me mentally. But my mum, she gets it. She knows the pain sure, but I think she’s tougher than I am. She takes them in her stride, she’s been having them for 35 years, I feel so pathetic with my 7 year streak. But maybe I’m just not as strong as she is.

The pain is so intense and scary and relentless that I don’t want to live through it all. I don’t want to die and I’m not suicidal or depressed. I’m lost.

I take my anger and frustration and pain out on my boyfriend. He spends hours massaging my shoulders when they are as hard as stone. And he sits up with me and holds me when I let go and cry.

My mum had horrid migraines when we were younger and we had to get our own dinner, from the age of 8. I don’t want to miss any time or moments or dinners with my babies when I have them. I don’t want to be shut away in a dark room while the world carries on. I want to be out in the world, I want to be free.

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Comments

View Comments (4)
  • Hurting4days
    4 years ago

    So sorry to hear your story. I had migraine since I was 18/19 and now 34, every month during my period I’ll get migraine. Relying heavily on maxalt or else I can’t live. Tried acupuncture lately so that I can stop taking meds and trying to be strong. Not working yet and still on maxalt.

  • Kathy
    4 years ago

    Are u taking any pain killers? You must! I struggled for a year before I went to a neurologist. Best pain killers for me are amyltriptan and naproxen combined. Kills the pain dead. I hate taking them I must admit ,but I have no choice if I want to get on with my life! I have tried loads of supplements vitamins good diet etc. nothing works completely. However, try yoga get regular lots of sleep and eat healthy regular and well. Lots of nutrition not junk food.

    Best time in my life was for 9 months when I was pregnant (twice!) because apparently your hormones stop fluctuating at that time. Never felt so well. No headaches for nine whole wonderful months! However they come back after baby is born.

    My worse time is now. The menopause I have had a shit two years and counting. Every two weeks ( ovulation and menstuation although I don’t do either any more if you get my gist?) I have to take some pain killers. Although I

    can manage most of the time on panadol (paracetamol and caffeine)

    I also suffer a migrain if I don’t sleep due to jet lag or go skiing ( altitude)

    Don’t suffer. Get painkillers

    My dad and brothers suffer frequent headaches too so I guess this is genetic.

  • margaret
    4 years ago

    It just breaks my heart hearing your story. I know that feeling of hopelessness and despair. You really have to be your biggest advocate and find that one thing that will get you through this. See your neurologist, naturopath, acupuncturist…whatever it takes till you find something that will help you. I suffered for years and thought that I’d never see the end of the tunnel and I discovered a special acupuncture method for migraines and it has saved my life! Please don’t despair…that day will come for you too. I will keep you in my prayers and God bless!

  • Anne
    4 years ago

    I am so sorry 🙁 I started getting migraines at 12 and still have them at 46. I would urge you to visit your doctor and get on a good migraine medication – specifically for migraines – so you’re not in pain all the time. For me, Relpax works and Imitrex used to work. I still feel tired and dizzy, but I’m not in pain. You shouldn’t have to tough out your migraines – it’s a very serious condition.

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