Migraine vs. Life

So, I never really thought that I would be asking myself this question when I started having migraines in high school.

I never thought I would have to ask myself, “My migraine or my boyfriend?”

I have been having migraines so much more frequently and I’ve had a boyfriend for over a year now. I love him to death but I feel like I’m cheating him.

Cheating ON him.

With my migraines.

I spend more days in bed with migraines than I do with him. I spend more time with my migraines than I do with him. I watch movies with my migraines, I sleep with my migraines, I eat dinner and hang out with my migraines.

I’m cheating on my boyfriend with my migraines and I feel like a monster.


I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. We’re not even married, just been together nearly a year and a half. I love my boyfriend though and I want to be with him. Not with my migraines…

I feel like I can do this anymore. My migraines are ruling my life and I’m not even a chronic migrainer, nothing against those who are as I believe I’m headed that way.

I just wish… I just wish it would all end you know? I have prevention meds, Propranol and Gabapentin combined and Imitrex for an abortive, but even that has limits. But I don’t want to be on pills all my life. I don’t want to be getting shots or getting my dosage checked when I get pregnant or have to worry about what medicines I’m already on when I get sick…

I just don’t understand it. I’m forced to have a relationship, hell an abusive relationship with my migraines when all I want is to live life like a normal 24 year old, living it up at parties and bars and not having to worry about what time I have to sleep at, about what time I have to take my pills at and how much should I drink or if I should drink at all because it might react badly to my medication. I should be able to eat all the food I want instead of worrying what will give me migraines.

I want it all to go away.

There are things I would wish on an enemy, but not migraines. Not the long time suffering that I’ve had to endure. I’ve lost two boyfriends because of my migraines and I fear I may lose another. Even if I apologize over and over again, it’ll never be enough.

Because as long as I’m with anyone, I’m cheating on them with my migraines and I can never end it.

Just felt like venting a little.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Migraine.com team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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