Dealing or other words Life

I just turned thirty a couple months. I have gotten headaches my whole life since a child. The way I deal with them and always has mainly been stubbornness, avoidance, hate of all things that get in my way and just coming from very stubborn genes. As a child I saw my grandfather (paw-paw) get chronic nosebleeds ( i now wonder if this was due to migraines). He carried handkerchiefs everywhere often tilted head back, but kept going. He could get one smoking the beehives and only pause long enough to shove something around it, he also suffered from black lung and arthritis. He garden, drove, did everything until he was finally hit with altimers. My mamma had a couple of headaches left over pain from shingles and eventually died of cancer (she only went to the doctor three times in 35 years). She never once complained around mumble to herself yes but she moved around and told everyone that whatever our problem was someone had it worse. My parents were the same way so as a child I told my self that a small headache was nothing and would not stop y play time.

As I got older and became preteen and teenager the headaches were still there. So I did what my personality called for I threw myself into everything. Drama, BETA, DECA, Sports, SADD, 4-H, just to name a few. You name it I was probably in it. Headaches still came and often little twinges really was what I thought they were. The bad ones though came when I was off from school or it was really bad stormy. I blamed boredom and lack of doing stuff for those.

During college there wasn’t really as much to be involved with and I am sure other reasons the headaches became more painful and otc meds were took 3-4 days a week and a couple of times they were 2week bottle eps of IBPhohen were talk over the recommended dose everyday during those you would find me in bed or curled up on my grandmothers couch after getting home from school and I never loved to sleep.

Now I still use avoidance, lots of otc meds, staying busy and avodience of ice and anything extra cold i let my ice cream melt often. How ever it does not always were. I have gotten the dizziness, the black dots, the zone out, the sensitivity to everything even my own breathing type more often but still I go (well most of the time). The symptom hardest to deal with is nausea because of my in ability to upchuck (I can count on one hand how may times and those were mainly due to am allergic reaction). The worst through are when during one I get this sharp unbelievable pain shoot through my head and eventually goes to a throb.

Yes I get Migraines, Yes I get this pain that nobody understands that sometimes I can’t sweep under the rug and sends me to my needs or bed. But there are people worse off than me including my friends, family, neighbors, and etc. I am alive , I am saved, I have my hearing and sight and all my limbs. My spine isn’t fused together like my dad who though retired still handles a 75 acre farm. I didn’t have a tumor in my brain and as a result spent most of the past five months in the hospital and not once ate in that time (a friend), I haven’t been to and from the doctor with pains and my body just shutting down in ways thyroid, apendix, gallbladder, and other physical pain for the past couple months to be told we don’t know why (another friend). I know what I have I have chronics headaches/migraines whatever you want to call them. I know what a lot of my triggers are. I know that I have and will have some days that even my stubbornness and will to not let it take my days my and interrupt my life that it will. But I am determined to make those few and far between to listen and be more understanding to others when they complain of there problems to never tell another migraine suffer (and there is at least 20 at my work) that they should or shouldn’t do something just because it works for me. I am determined to live a happy fulfilling life and achieve everything I want want to because that is who I am and I just have to take a small pain with me. Truthfully it’s not that bad because it’s life, it’s me, it just is and I have and always will deal because I don’t know how not to.

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