I can't cope

By mbloor

1 min read

My chronic migraines are getting to much for me to handle lately. I just can't cope with it all, trying to hold down a job that I love but constantly ringing in sick and feeling guilty for being off again. The support I get from my parents isn't brilliant when I do have a migraine attack the postdrome stage completely wipes me off my feet for days, I feel dizzy, weak, drained, irritable, in pain and depressed and they just don't understand how it makes me feel baring in mind they have seen me have many migraine attacks over the last 10 years and should know the process by now. Instead of resting through the postdrome stage they make me feel so on edge that I'm just lying around. I have tried explaining to them the seriousness of migraines and how low it is making me, I even told them I nearly self harmed to that I got 'well isn't that stupid'. I feel like I'm fighting this battle on my own, I don't know what to do with myself, I feel like I just want to run away or fall asleep and never wake up again so I don't have to deal with all this I'm only 22 and I can't see any other way. I know thats the easy way out to just give up but I'm tired of fighting this battle, I'm getting so many bad thoughts in my head. I just can't cope

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Migraine.com team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Join the conversation

Please read our rules before commenting.

Joanna Bodner Community Admin
Dear mbloor, I am so happy and would like to commend you that you a have reached out for support and to share your story!! I am so terribly sorry you’re feeling this way. Living with migraine can be extremely isolating and please know you are NEVER alone in feeling this way! Know that you have a whole community behind you here at <a href='http://Migraine.com' target='_blank'>Migraine.com</a> and we understand what you are going through. PLEASE do not give up hope for better days ahead! I'd like to most importantly stress, if you are EVER in an immediate crisis or considering harming yourself, DO NOT hesitate to contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 or you can go online <a href='https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer ugc'>https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/</a> and they have a live chat feature. I know if may feel like you have tried everything, but there are over 100+ treatment combinations that may be considered! In fact, this is a sentiment shared by many in our community and a few of our contributors have written about it - <a href='https://migraine.com/blog/ive-tried-everything-2/' target='_blank'>https://migraine.com/blog/ive-tried-everything-2/</a> <a href='https://migraine.com/blog/tried-them-all/' target='_blank'>https://migraine.com/blog/tried-them-all/</a> If you don't mind me asking, have you seen or considered a true headache and migraine specialist? <a href='https://migraine.com/blog/why-we-ask-about-your-doctor/' target='_blank'>https://migraine.com/blog/why-we-ask-about-your-doctor/</a> Lastly, I know that I have shared numerous resources with you, but I'd also like to provide you with an article by one of our contributor's who too has struggled with depression. While we have many articles related to this topic, this one may hopefully really resonate with you - <a href='https://migraine.com/blog/breaking-through-the-darkness/' target='_blank'>https://migraine.com/blog/breaking-through-the-darkness/</a> Again, know we are always here for you and NEVER hesitate to reach out for support. Are you active on Facebook? If so, I'd encourage you to join our page where you can connect with many others living with migraine. <a href='https://www.facebook.com/MigraineDotCom/' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer ugc'>https://www.facebook.com/MigraineDotCom/</a>. Again, we are ALL behind you and understand this struggle you are battling. Sending you loads of good energy and please always reach out for support. We love hearing from you! -Joanna (Migraine.com Team)
emma963 Member
Dear mbloor, As I am very new here and not likely to have a lot of helpful information and sources to share, I'm just going to speak from my heart. I'm sorry that you are going through this, especially at your age. Life isn't fair and some are handed especially difficult conditions under which we are expected to survive physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually. Chronic ice pain conditions like migraine disorder are so challenging to navigate and it's okay that you feel alone and fed up sometimes... Well, most times. Im here to say that you ate not crazy. You are not a baby or a suck or a whiner. You are not making things up or seeking attention. This migraine stuff can make you feel so off that you doubt your own abilities and it doesn't help when others just do not get it or don't make an attempt. to understand. You are not alone, never alone, and it's good that you arel reaching out. I hope you have a physician and/or counselor to help you, too. I know I did and still do. Hang in there, please. I've heard you, and others have too. And im sure that we all care and empathize with you, I know I do. A real, live person (me) is sitting at work on a break and responding to you because she cares - don't give up; you are not alone. Never ever feel shamed for seeking help and in-person counseling can be a saving grace. Please don't exclude that possibility, it's an important resource and it's there for all. In addition to chronic migraines, I was diagnosed with an incurable bowel disease when I was 17 and do indeed understand what it's like to be young and unwell. It's been a life long struggle...and one that taught so many good things, too. I'm 50 years old now and still here, still trying, so know that there is a way and there is hope. I'm here if you ever need to talk - not sure if there's a private message system here but if so, remember that you are welcome. Take heart, have courage. You can do this. Hugs to you from someone who cares.
1. emma963 Member
 Sigh, pardon the typos. 😉
2. mbloor Member
 I really appreciate your kind words and for taking time out of your day to send me a message. I had my first counciling session yesterday were he pointed out I have a lot of fear and anxiety relating to my chronic migraines. He suggested a few audios for me to listen to to help with my anxiety issues. I have also moved into my partners place temporarily which he shares with two others lads' I just needed to get some time away from my parents as I couldn't handle their comments anymore. I also tried to go back to work today after having 5 days off and knowing I still didn't feel great but I pushed myself to get up, get changed and make it into work. When I arrived at my desk other individuals around me looked at me and said 'are you really well enough to be here?' I replied with I don't feel good but I need to try. I only lasted 40 minutes before I had to go back home, I could feel my eyes getting blurrier and blurrier starring at the computer screen, my body felt exhausted and I kept thinking am I pushing myself to hard? I then found out other members in my team also didn't feel well as one is pregnant and the other has picked up a cold. This made me feel so guilty for having to leave when others don't feel well and they're pushing on through the day. This got me thinking am I weak minded? Could I have lasted longer than 40 minutes? What do my colleagues think of me? I just really wish I could manage. Chronic migraines put so many barriers up in my life no wonder I'm finding hard to cope.
annequin-harkin Member
I'm so sorry. The postdrome is awful for me, too. You are so strong for continually walking through life, not to mention holding down a job with migraine. Would you parents be open to reading some literature on migraines? It might help them understand or it might not. I know there are several family members who think I'm being dramatic but I've had migraines for 36 years now, so I don't really care what they think anymore. I do know that migraines make me feel depressed. I take a beta blocker as a preventative, which is also supposed to help with depression. Not sure if your neurologist has suggested a preventative medication, but I know it cut down the number of migraines I have by half. I also saw a therapist - it's nice to have a perspective other than your family of what you're going through. It takes a lot of strength to keep going. Think of the people who whine when they get a cold - you're being hit by truck constantly and still living your life. Don't give up on yourself. We're all here for you 😀

Community Poll

Do you feel comfortable advocating for yourself to your healthcare provider?