Isn’t Retirement Supposed to be Wonderful?

I’ve suffered with migraine disease for more years than I want to count. With drugs, chiropractic and acupuncture, I felt I was handling them fairly well considering my 2 main triggers are weather and stress.

Then my husband retired. He worked 1:30-10:00 and would get home about 10:30PM. Most of my migraines hit at noon or later. So my being in bed when he got home seemed normal bedtime. He wasn’t here to see me in bed all day. The first 6 months of retirement went pretty well. I don’t get as many migraines in the winter. Then the weather started moderating and the migraines came with a fury. A month with only 9 was a good month. Change of season, spring and summer are my worst migraine times. So he thinks I’m getting more than I did in the past. Not true. He is here now to see them. So he sends me off to the doctor with a note of symptoms and asking for a pill to fix me.Trying to keep things smooth, I went. The pill we tried for 2 weeks was a disaster. Couldn’t function. I decided I would rather deal with the migraines and be functional and productive when I didn’t have them rather than be dysfunctional all the time. Then I decided if he had a problem with my migraines, maybe he should take a pill. Well, that’s easier to say than to live. I find myself not always telling him when I have one, and if possible (depending on the severity) still doing what I’m supposed to be doing. Many days I’m in bed in a dark room feeling judged. This feeling by itself brings added stress which is not good. And I think that simply adjusting to having him here all the time is difficult. After all, we all know our migraine brains don’t deal we’ll with change. So he tells me if I’m happy with the way my migraines are going, then he’s okay with it.

NO ONE IS EVER HAPPY WITH THE WAY THEIR MIGRAINES ARE GOING.

So I spend a lot of time feeling like I’m walking on egg shells. Don’t get me wrong, he can be incredibly loving and helpful; but I feel he is reaching his limit. Yesterday I had a killer migraine triggered by a chemical smell from something he was using and spent the rest of the day in bed TRYING to sleep. Usually impossible with a migraine. This morning he asked what I was doing today. I said “nothing” other than recovering from my migraine. He thought I would get out there and finish mulching the garden for the season. We use 60 bags of mulch and I normally do all of it. Then he wanted me to supervise while he did it. Told him to just do it and if it needed fixing, I’d do it tomorrow. On Saturday we’re invited to a picnic and it’s supposed to rain. Rain usually triggers a migraine. I’m already worrying about his reaction if I get one. I thought retirement was supposed to be wonderful!

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Migraine.com team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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