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Learning to laugh at the hallucinations

I’ve been a migraine sufferer since I was 7 (14 years) and they turned chronic when I was 15. It all started with throwing up in the hall in school (naturally didn’t make me very popular) and my mother being furious when I would be fine within an hour of being at home. I had alice in wonderland syndrome at that time, although I thought I was just going crazy and it wasn’t until recently that I told my mother and she said she was the same at that age. Her crazy aunt also came to her mind then because she always wore a scarf wrapped tightly around her head, which I have used on occasion.

Well my migraines have been increasing in severity and getting more and more symptoms and the pain has also increased tenfold. At 15 my migraines reached chronic state and my clumsiness (also migraine related) reached a climax with my falling down the stairs multiple times and seriously injuring myself. I began taking several doses of solpadeine tablets daily for a few months. It took a while before one of my friends actually addressed the issue since I found out afterwards that I simply couldn’t function without it. I went to a neurologist who gave me preventatives that made all my symptoms worse and turned me into a zombie.
I took the topamax (dopamax)for a few months and it was hell. I can barely remember anything that happened. I decided to go down the acupuncture route and my acupuncturist (previously highly trained Singaporean doctor) told me straight out to stop taking it. Now I only get transient aphasia once a week or so. I went into complete remission according to the idiot neurologist. However not three months later they came back even worse. Acupuncture and massages only make the pain worse now. Its been five years since I tried with acupuncture and I haven’t had a single day with migraine.

When my husband came along I was in a bad way emotionally but he has helped me manage my own approach to everything. Now when I hallucinate with spiders or creepy figures surrounding me, he starts making into a game of don’t touch the floor, with us jumping over couches and tables, and always helps me turn the figures into something funny (like the bogart in harry potter). The only thing that is still impossible to cope with is the aphasia. Anyone got tips to explain your thoughts during a phase? I simply can’t get a word out of my mouth. My husband tells me I sound worse than porky pig. Its pretty frustrating, but I don’t know where I would be if he didn’t come along. Anybody else notice a difference from having someone to force you to stop the fear and self pity and keep wobbling forward?

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.


  • R.D.Hayes
    3 years ago

    I hallucinate sometimes…even when I close my eyes. It is like playing charades in my house util they guess right. I am coming off the end of a 48 hour migraines so my spelling may be a little odd. Funny thing is that I am a writer…a published writer. I hope I am writing it down right. My fingers don’t always work the work my brain tells it too, but you all have migraines so you understand. lol.

  • mindwiped
    3 years ago

    I started using the long description of what I mean…if I want the spatula, and he’s in the way and I can’t get the word…I’m asking for the long black pancake turner thingy, quickly, this is burning!

    Or if it’s a person I describe other things about them…you know, my stupid co-worker who came in wearing a sports bra as a shirt. Usually that helps me although out skits him that I can’t get the exact word I want…I’ve even done it at the doctors office…they mentioned trying preventative, I said I’d try anything but the Barbie pill. I then had to fight to explain that topamax made me dumber than Barbie and gave me panic attacks and suicidal thoughts…so none of it, thank you.

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