Learning to laugh at the hallucinations

I’ve been a migraine sufferer since I was 7 (14 years) and they turned chronic when I was 15. It all started with throwing up in the hall in school (naturally didn’t make me very popular) and my mother being furious when I would be fine within an hour of being at home. I had alice in wonderland syndrome at that time, although I thought I was just going crazy and it wasn’t until recently that I told my mother and she said she was the same at that age. Her crazy aunt also came to her mind then because she always wore a scarf wrapped tightly around her head, which I have used on occasion.

Well my migraines have been increasing in severity and getting more and more symptoms and the pain has also increased tenfold. At 15 my migraines reached chronic state and my clumsiness (also migraine related) reached a climax with my falling down the stairs multiple times and seriously injuring myself. I began taking several doses of solpadeine tablets daily for a few months. It took a while before one of my friends actually addressed the issue since I found out afterwards that I simply couldn’t function without it. I went to a neurologist who gave me preventatives that made all my symptoms worse and turned me into a zombie.
I took the topamax (dopamax)for a few months and it was hell. I can barely remember anything that happened. I decided to go down the acupuncture route and my acupuncturist (previously highly trained Singaporean doctor) told me straight out to stop taking it. Now I only get transient aphasia once a week or so. I went into complete remission according to the idiot neurologist. However not three months later they came back even worse. Acupuncture and massages only make the pain worse now. Its been five years since I tried with acupuncture and I haven’t had a single day with migraine.

When my husband came along I was in a bad way emotionally but he has helped me manage my own approach to everything. Now when I hallucinate with spiders or creepy figures surrounding me, he starts making into a game of don’t touch the floor, with us jumping over couches and tables, and always helps me turn the figures into something funny (like the bogart in harry potter). The only thing that is still impossible to cope with is the aphasia. Anyone got tips to explain your thoughts during a phase? I simply can’t get a word out of my mouth. My husband tells me I sound worse than porky pig. Its pretty frustrating, but I don’t know where I would be if he didn’t come along. Anybody else notice a difference from having someone to force you to stop the fear and self pity and keep wobbling forward?

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