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Life With Elves

I have elves in my head. I’m not sure how many are there. I asked my brother earlier today how many he thought there were, and he said, “It has to be an odd number, because they always get in fights when they try to choose teams to play basketball.”

The elves are rambunctious little guys, rarely giving me more than a moment’s peace in the last 11 years since they’ve been there. They love building things, but they’re not good at it. Most of the things they try to build crash as soon as the fat elf, who’s kind of a bully, decides to climb on. They do lots of hammering and jumping up and down. They must climb out of my ears when I’m sleeping sometimes, because they come back with all these new merry-making possessions–a hot air balloon that’s not quite small enough to fit, a walrus that likes to rumble in my tummy, and most recently, some sort of contraption I’ve yet to figure out that makes the bottoms of my feet tingle.

The elves also have tempers like you wouldn’t believe. Everything sets them off. They hate loud noises. They hate bright lights. Can’t eat that; elves will get mad. Can’t go there; elves will get mad. In fact, they’re kind of mad at me right now for being on the computer. So jealous of my time.

The last 11 years I’ve been on Mission: Zap the Elves, but boy, are they resilient! They laugh in the face of triptans. Inpatient infusions got nothin’ on them. Acupuncture, nerve stimulator, Botox, trigger point injections, so many preventives I’ve quit counting. I’m not really friendly with these constant companions of mine, but I’ve gotta hand it to them–If there’s ever an apocalypse and all life on Earth is destroyed, the Migraine elves will hang in there.

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  • Charra
    4 years ago

    Just like stinkin’ cockroaches…they never die.

  • Erin
    4 years ago

    Kaci, I will try my hardest to convince them. I’m sure Australia is nice this time of year. I’m from KS, Australia is a nice far away place for the wretched little monsters and elves. How could they not want to go?

  • Katie M. Golden moderator
    4 years ago

    That was hysterical. You have to have a sense of humor to get through this!

  • Erin
    4 years ago

    Yes, this. I’ve always told my sister I have little green monsters in my head stabbing me with forks. They’ve been in there for thirteen years. Hang in there.

  • KaciMo author
    4 years ago

    Erin, I love it! I actually started referring to them as elves after getting frustrated when doctors asked me to describe the pain. Nothing they said seemed to fit, so my vivid imagination took over.

    We need to figure out some way to send my elves and your monsters on a vacation! I’ll pay if you can convince them to go! 🙂

  • k_nelson
    4 years ago

    I can totally relate to all of this. It’s a hard, long journey…

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