Lifetime Migraines, Horrible Loss and Mental Illness

I never thought I would write this in public-but you all have made me want to. I started getting daily headaches in 4th grade. My Grandma (also a migraine sufferer) gave me Excedrin. Beginning as a child, I learned how to cycle OTC meds- aspirin would work for a few months, then tylenol, and cycle back. this was before naproxen was OTC (I’m 46). I don’t even remember using Advil until high school. But, even though I didn’t know any info or have a special doctor, I knew triggers! I’ve been “living my life around my head” since forever. Sun. Snow. Food. Weather. But I never even realized I “had” migraines until I was pregnant at 23 and had one that knocked me down for almost a week. Then I was diagnosed. Until then, they had been “daily headaches” (I still have those) and the stomach migraines. I was a teenage mom, graduated HS early, had three daughters by 23, got a College degree (Chemistry), and supported us all as a chemist until I lost my middle daughter in 2005. Accident. My head went insane. Stress. I finally saw a neurologist and got on Topamax, which kept me alive, I was literally always in some stage of migraine – but I couldn’t beat the daily headaches. Constant battle. Depression. Night terrors. Ptsd. Anxiety. Effexor is good and helps me a lot. I’ve been on tons of med for the head. In 2011, I lost my eldest daughter. Illness. I finally caved in late 2011 and applied for disability, got it in late 2013, mental illness. (still fighting, very hard) but my head is almost impossible to control. My migraines are manageable with Topamax- like maybe 5-6 month? But they have moved to always aura, crazy stuff, hallucinations (mild), horrible visual stuff, eye twitching like mad, ataxia, and the daily headaches are a source of HELL- the only thing that works on those is vicodin- not oxy, not anything stronger, only vicodin. And, now it’s like doctors, even headache doctors/ neurologists are against narcotics. What do you do? I moved state to state – and haven’t had any narcotics in like 3 months? So- I’ve had a daily headache for 3 months, which leads to more migraines, more stress, and more issues w anxiety, and more issues w my mental health.

It took me 8 YEARS to find the med combo that finally worked! I hadn’t been in an ER in 2 years- and then I moved, and UGH. Everything is all messed up because narcotics were in my mix. It makes you want to give up. No, it’s REALLY not a rebound headache, LOL I haven’t had a narcotic in months, and I actually know my various different “kinds” of headaches… plane ride headache and/or migraine, low pressure weather headache, OMG there “WAS” MSG in that Chinese, headache, and my favorite, in the ER–> OMG! I told you NOT to give me Benedryl! headache! LOL Thanks so much for letting me share the frustration of not having “REAL” diseases.

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