My life…as told by my Migraines

For as long as I can remember I’ve suffered from migraines that last for weeks or months at a time.

The worst was my Junior year of High School, while everyone else in my class was looking at colleges I was home with a 7 month long migraine. Thats right 7 long never ending months straight of a consistent migraine. I was told by most of my teachers that I looked fine and there was nothing wrong with me. I was home schooled for 4 months. Doctors tried every type of medication there was and I did multiple hospital visits, one resulting in a few days staying overnight. I had been poked and prodded and for what? For nothing, nothing worked, I was exactly where I started just feeling less hopeful. One day the migraine just magically went away on its own. To this day I have no idea why but I was grateful.

This forever changed my life. I have spent every day since in fear that I would be stuck in the same situation once again. This month marks 10 years since that episode began and I find myself in the same situation. For a while Botox every 2 months helps to prevent me getting a migraine, but no doctor had yet to find anything to help break a migraine once I got trapped in the cycle. Until now I was managing ok, I had set backs and a lot of bumps in the road but I was managing. I finally got to a place where I felt like my fear of another disabling migraine attack was behind me.

Then on September 28, 2017 things changed. I woke up with a migraine and knew almost right away that it had been different from any I’ve had in years. After 2 weeks of trying to deal with it and push through it, I couldn’t even do basic daily functions anymore. I could no longer drive because I was constantly losing my vision. Looking at a computer screen would only make it worse and I was told that from my doctor I needed to go on leave from work. I have yet to return to work.

The worst for me is the brain fog that makes me feel like a 26 yr old with alzheimers. I can barely remember what day it is or where I am. I have lived in the same neighborhood my entire life and last month I got lost going to the doctor. I try and write things down in case I forget if they are important but I can never find it because I forget where I wrote it down. I’m a smart person and to the outside world I just look like a typical dumb blonde with a blank expression on her face.

Everything takes so much effort, as I’m sure every one who suffers from migraines understands. Most people dream of vacations, their future, or winning the lottery (which I would definitely not complain about), and I dream of being able to hear myself think again. This migraine cycle has knocked me sooo far down that I don’t see an end of it anymore. And if/when it ends I will most likely no longer have my job that I worked so hard for.

Once again my life has been turned upside down. Every week I go to doctors and do treatments to try and break the cycle but the only thing that’s seemed to break is my hope.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Migraine.com team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

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  • bet
    1 year ago

    I can understand how you feel. My migraines run my very life. I wake up and the pain is what woke me up. never knowing when or where the next hit will happen makes it so hard to do anything. I have lost all friends and most of my family because they just don’t want to or can not understand what I am going through. I moved to AZ. to start over and in hopes of fining a doctor or someone to know more about migraines. but haven’t done that I have been to so many doctors done all kinds of test and the only thing I know now is that I have migraines that hurts and have clusters. Up till I was sent this site I never knew that there was so many kinds of migraines. There has been so many times I have thought of just ending it all!! But I can not do it.. I can not be that weak. I just keep trying to push through it all. I know I don’t even think the same way as other people. the last doctor that was suppost to be the very best with migraines. At first I thought thank GOD!!!! But it was not true as long as I was doing everything he wanted things were fine. But when I said no to getting the botox shots that was it he wouldn’t see me anymore. But he did tell me that the last test he oder and got back showed that I have black spots on my brain and that was it did not want more test or drill in and take a pice of it for testing. The most all these doctors say you will just have to get use to it cause its forever going to be apart of my life no matter what. I take relpax 40 mg always praying it will work there are other for migraines and being sick from the migraines.. Can only pray that some how GOD has a plan for this happening to us but it pushes me to the point of wanting to put a end to it all. but I just cant do it.. just knowing now that I am not alone anymore makes me feel better. so thank you!! try the on line for meds they might really help you out.

  • aurohra
    1 year ago

    I know it’s hard when you’re in that dark place (literally in your dark room, possibly with the covers over your head) or when you’re dreading the next attack! I don’t have a cure for that as I still have my migraine with me everyday. However, by keeping a journal of what you’re eating, what hours you’re sleeping and the activities you’re doing.. sometimes you start to see a pattern. Always continue educating yourself on triggers and new treatments so you can advocate for yourself when even your doctor seems to have given up

  • MaryLynne
    1 year ago

    Working on figuring out what type of headache(s) I’m fighting every day since April….so i totally feel your situation. They are dehabilitating, demoralizing and hard to hang on to hope while fighting. We both have to take the good minutes in a day and keep believing that one day our brains will clear up. Good thoughts to you!

  • Luna
    1 year ago

    Hope is difficult to hang on to when there seems no relief in sight. It is a struggle to find acceptance of new realities in our already overwhelming daily struggle. Courage.
    “When Migraine Whispers Poison in Your Ear”

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