Nausea worse than headaches

I’ve been suffering with what i’ve been told are migraines for over 3 years now. I have been so sick that ive had many times where ive wanted to end my life. The headaches arnt the worst symptom of all, its the constant nausea. I thought i’d share a list of my symptoms that i suffer on a daily basis, and have only had respite from these symptoms on average 1 day a fortnight for the past 3 years.

worst symptom nausea, like having gastro bug. the feeling of being ready to vomit and paralysed by this in bed unable to move
constant headaches which vary from throbbing in my forehead to sharp pains
– ringing in ears, underwater sensations
– visual aura such as black tadpoles flying through my vision, unable to see through certain parts of my eye, white lights, shadowing, blurred vision
– diziness and fainting sensation, like im about to pass out
– flu like symptoms, shaking, hot flushes, pains throughout entire body, basically zombified
– vomitting
– diarrhoea
– face from lips upwards numb and pins and needles everyday

I’ve somehow up until recently got myself into work through most of this even though im unable to stand at times, unable to talk, winging most of it and when returning home i’d basically be in bed sick till the next day, with every weekend being in bed sick (my husband is on a spouse visa so ive had no option but to carry on or he goes home). Attempts to get through it have just ended up in making my migraine worse and i haven’t been able to exercise or go out for a night out without ending up coming home with a severe migraine so i no longer try (I have won fitness figure competitions in the last 6 years and used to have a passion for fitness before the migraines started).

Ive had ct scan, mri, lumbar puncture and told my neurologist all of my symptoms which he confirmed is all migraine?! I have tried various medications and now feel like my doctor thinks im making it up or im crazy and puts it down to stress. Ive led a very stressful life and up until 3 years ago i never even had as much as a headache.

I have been trying for a baby for the last two years so medication i can try has been limited. After two unfortunate failed pregnancies (1st miscarriage and 2nd a very sick baby) im finally pregnant again and everything now appears to be fine with my little one but my migraines had taken over completely. Ive been trialling amitriptyline in small doses which has been providing me with some relief (little but some improvement). In fact ive had 3 days where ive been ok in that i haven’t had to go to bed with severe nausea and I now feel like I have hope. I wait for the next day i can feel normal. When my little one is born i have to believe that amitriptyline will improve my life so that I can be a happy mother who can give her daughter the best life and im holding onto the fact that something will work eventually (hopefully amitriptyline).

This is for all those people who say (including a past doctor) that a migraine is ‘just a headache‘! For me if it was just a headache I’d be ecstatic and would never have thought about taking my own life.

I hope that if anyone out there is going through even 50% of what ive been going through and your still standing and searching for that next medication to ease your pain, you are strong, you will find a way eventually, and you wont feel like this forever. That’s what I believe and I will find the right meds, even if its not for me but for the life of my unborn child.

Sending strength, power, love, courage and hope to all migraine sufferers out there. Xxx

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