Never ending

My daughter started vomiting at 18 months, crying at night. Fast forward to age 5. After Xmas she got ill with what I thought was the flu, but the vomiting wouldn’t stop. The extreme pain in the stomach, she curled in the fetal postion during these attacks. Doctors said migraines. The attacks kept getting worse, alot of vomiting, more doctors, MRI, tests, still migraines. She would do better after about 10am, but the attacks retuned a lot of the nights till she was six. At 6, she got worse. More and more pain, non stop vomiting. So many drugs(most weren’t for a child that age). Always in the fetal position. The screams were the worse. She begged me to kill her. (I got rid of my gun)  All I heard was, make it stop, please Mommy. Some times this was all day all nite for 20-30 days. Then it would change 2 weeks she was violently ill, then 2 weeks she felt better, no pain, no vomiting.

The adominal migraines continued, sometimes changing duration. Nights always the worse,screaming, vomiting. The only relief was sleep. She was home schooled, because she was to ill to go to school and I could work her school when she felt better. Ages 7 and 8 no changes. Always sick, we had no life. The doctors wouldn’t give her much for the pain because of her age( I did turn down morphine, cutting the nerves in her head, botox, but did do surgery and removed tonsils and adnoids..didn’t help)

At 9, the doctors wanted her to attend regular school. I said no way, she was too sick, I did agree to do the public school for the arts and gym and music. It was a few hours a day 5 days a week. She missed alot of classes, too sick. Then the kids bullied her. She was so upset the vomiting would not stop. She lost alot of weight and almost dies. Thats when she stop going to school. Doctors weren’t much help. They just didn’t know how to help her. I was told when she was 6,8,9 there’s nothing left we can do to help her. At 9 we had a good Doctor at a pain clinic, he tried, but wasn’t any help. Nothing seems to help her. Hundreds of medications, of course she was referred to psych care. A really BIG mistake. Each one was worse than the one before. That stopped.

By the time she reached 11, the adominal pain moved to her head. On one side. She got better for about 2 years, with only about 10-12 severe migraines a month. She went out, made friends and finally got to do what everyone else did. She was so happy. Sadly the migraines got worse and the vomiting returned. She lost most of her friends, was in bed all the time. Her life was back to pain and vomiting. At 16 she tried to attend a few classes at the community college. Again the migraines stopped that, too. She missed too many classes. Had to stop on the side of the road to vomit..to or from class or in the bathroom vomiting. Professors didn’t believe she was sick and would not let her make up tests. Another big disappointment. She’s a beautiful child and people never believed she was so sick, because when sick, she was in bed, if better she wanted to go out to see other kids. She dressed and looked nice. She had a disabled handicapped placecard since she was 5. (She’d start vomiting or get severe migraines and had to leave in a hurry) Once a cop was writing her a ticket for parking in the handicapped space (she was 16) and she came up to the car. He cussed her and yelled at how worthless she was, when after about 15 minutes of listening to him degrade her, he finally looked at her paper work. He turned and walked away. Another time she got the ticket. Each time the stress made her migraines kick in full gear. Her story does not get better, she remains at home alot suffering with severe migraines and vomiting.

She got SSA disability at 18, because she can’t work at all. Finally she has health insurance, because of the disability. I only hope sometime in the future they will learn more about migraines. They will learn why some suffer a little and others its life changing. Migraines effect everyone so differently. I admire my daughter for not letting this demon destroy her. She is almost 21 now . Children with migraines suffer worse than anyone. You have to deal with social services because people think you make your child sick, you miss holidays, loose friends and family. You know that the doctors are not helping you at all. The ER’s were the worse. You really have no one to talk to. You feel alone. The children are lonely. People shun them, because they look normal when they are out. Of course, when they are sick they are in bed. I wish all of you good luck in this migraine struggle.

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