Please plan my wedding (or let me elope)

Here’s another thing that is completely incompatible with chronic migraine: wedding planning.

I’m in my late thirties and engaged for the first time. I manage to hold down a full time job, despite having a migraine pretty much every single day of my life. I have a fiance who is wonderfully understanding and sympathetic of my condition, the horrifying number of medications I take, the botox injections, the nerve blocks, the alternative diets, the ear plugs I wear during movies, the sunglasses I wear even indoors, the sensitivity to smells to the point where I dictate what kind of deodorant he wears, and finally the tears that come (often) when I reach the point of despair.


Planning a wedding is headache-inducing even for non-migraineurs. For me, it’s agonizing, and my migraines (and digestive issues, and anxiety, and other issues) have increased tenfold. If I have to endure months and months of this, it will be the end of me. My attempts to make the process less stressful are thwarted by family members whose big-wedding-expectations are completely out of touch with reality–my reality, the reality of chronic pain and illness, however invisible–and I’m caught between feeling justified and feeling like the poorest excuse for a human being that ever was because I’m JUST NOT UP TO THIS. And what should be a happy and fun time is turning into anything but.

Life changes, even good ones, are toxic to this migraine brain of mine. I hope I can get to a place where I feel somewhat back in control of things, some place of normalcy and routine that my body and brain crave. The sooner I get there, the better. I only hope I don’t alienate any family members along the way. And I hope I can show myself the same acceptance and forgiveness I look for from others.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Migraine.com team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

View Comments (5)

Poll