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Run Down, Depressed and Just Plain Tired

Sorry this is such a negative post. I’m just not having a good outlook on life at the moment. I know most of us have been here. Starters this past few months my migraines have been unbearable. The other day I could not stop throwing up at work until I couldn’t make it to the bathroom fast enough and asked my boss if I could go home. I feel like even after throwing up on myself she thought I was making it seem worse then it was. And boy do I wish that was the case. I honestly hate my job and my boss. She seems to enjoy belittling us and her day isn’t made unless she has snapped and made one of us feel like total crud. I know this isn’t helping my migraines at all, but as I’m sure a lot of you do I feel like I’m stuck at this job seeing as I have bills that aren’t going to pay themselves.

I honestly dread going and hate that I am walking on egg shells all day waiting to get yelled at. I’m just so tired of it. I’m tired of feeling ashamed when I have to call in because I literally can’t get out of bed, I would love to ask if I could go down to part time because I really know that might help and allow me to not feel so guilty for missing so many days. But I know the answer would just be no and they need someone full time or not at all. I live in a small town and don’t have many options for work. I just mentally feel done and I don’t know how long I can stand working here. Instead of focusing on feeling better I stress about a job I hate and a boss I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I wish I could do something from home, if anyone has advice or ideas for me I would love to hear from you. Thanks for listening

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Comments

  • jck1617
    7 months ago

    Hi Lexie, I just wanted to say I feel for you. I think we don’t throw up from my migraines but I’ve definitely missed a number of days at work. I’ve been in my job just six or seven months and I worry about the consequences of missing work because of headaches. I do know that there are number of jobs you can do from home. If you go to indeed.com and search remote work there’s often phone or other work you can do from the comfort of your home and possibly even on your own schedule. Just want to say I’m with you in solidarity and hang in there.

  • SoloApollo
    7 months ago

    Hi Lexie11, I understand how you feel. Managing a disabling disease complicated by the stress of work and strife of insensitive people is unfortunately what makes up a good day for many of us. But learning to deal with it all in the best ways takes time.

    Finding a supportive environment and community is a great place to start. Being around positive people who understand can help to make you feel less alone and misunderstood. Which will hopefully steer you away from mental health complications like depression.

    But you have to also find your triggers. There could be some at work. A smell, the lights, noise, etc. And as much as I don’t like to say it (but find it true at times), some people are migraine triggers with a mouth. And if those people happen to be at your job, for your sake it’s best to find a new one as difficult as it may be.

    Then it’s on to finding the right medicine or treatment for you, and preventive measures. You have a great resource and community here. Feel free to reach out more.

    All of this is easier said than done. But know that even a change of pace can come with stressors that can complicate things in the short-term. Patience and positivity can go a long way.

    In the meantime, try to find joy and hope in whatever makes you happy. Distract yourself from the pain. Keep moving forward!

  • Lexie11 author
    7 months ago

    SoloApollo,
    I couldn’t agree more with you about how some people are migraine triggers with a mouth. I am sorry for my long depressing vent, it’s nice to be able to talk to people who understand. My husband has been great with supporting me but he -I know has a hard time understanding what exactly I’m going through. I do need to change my situation seeing as I really do believe me hating my job is only making me feel worse. I just have that feeling of I’m stuck and I need to get a different outlook and help myself. I think it stems from that constant feeling of guilt for not being healthy and reliable and worrying too much about what others think of me. Thanks so much for the advice 🙂

  • Holly Baddour moderator
    7 months ago

    Hi Lexie11- Thank you so much for sharing some of the heavy weight of your migraine story here. I hope just the process of sharing your story with people who understand can help to lighten your load. And we do understand. Most all of us have been, or are, where you describe.

    I hope others might chime in with additional ideas, but in the meantime, I will say that chronic migraine is incredibly taxing- made worse by employers, friends and loved ones who don’t understand, or even worse, think we’re faking.

    I know you said you depend on your paycheck, but you then mentioned that you had thought about exploring a part time position. I thought I’d at least ask if you’d ever thought about exploring disability? There are multiple steps involved in “getting there”, and the process is rarely easy or straightforward, but migraine IS the 7th leading cause of disability, so it’s not unusual to pursue, and/or to attain disability for this disease.

    I’m not sure if your workplace might offer any benefits related to disability or leave or if you’d have to go straight through social security, but it may be worth exploring this option with your migraine specialist. The first step is to discuss the option with your physician. I remember nearly a decade ago, now, going to my migraine specialist because I was at my breaking point, much like you describe, and crying in his office about my inability to go to work regularly, having burned through my vacation and sick time. With his support, I was able to eventually access disability benefits.

    We have a number of resources on the topic of disability, in case you’re interested: https://migraine.com/?s=disability

    As to feeling run down, depressed and tired- you’ve made a great move by coming here- where our community is teeming with people who can relate and are here to listen and provide support. If you haven’t already, please also visit our facebook page for more interaction with others.

    Migraine is incredibly depleting, so be sure to think about ways to shore up support for yourself to replenish your reserves. Think about people in your life who do understand and have compassion for what you’re up against. Can you reach out to them and let them know you’ve hit a hard place? Also, I’m of the mind that if you’re living with chronic migraine- because it can be so very tough- it’s very helpful to have an established relationship with a therapist- whether you see them regularly, or just when you hit a rough patch- that way they know your story and you can call them when you’re in need. Your migraine specialist might be able to connect you with a therapist if you don’t yet have one.

    There are also online and in person support groups for migraine and chronic pain that might be worth checking out as well.

    From what you describe, the situation you’re in gives you good reason to be tired and looking for a change.

    Thanks so much for sharing your story and please stay in touch. So very glad you’re a part of our community.

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