The Monster has a face.

The first time it attacked me it was a surprise attack not knowing or understanding what was going on. I thought that I was just having a really bad headache as I stumbled for a place to lay down with an urgent desire to go to sleep just to escape the pain. When I woke up it was gone and only felt sluggish but was excited about the days events . I was young and strong and no longer thought any more of it. The monster slept!

As I started a family and a life and was completely caught off guard when the monster woke up with a screaming roar once again! This time though I realized this was not just a headache as I laid on the tile floor of my bathroom voilently vomiting from the excuriating pain that ripped through my head. My young son trying to console me as he called my husband on the phone telling him “Dad you need to come home now something is wrong with mom !” Little did I know as my husband drove home from helping a friend that he was on the phone with another one of our friends who happens to be a doctor. So there we are me laying on the bathroom floor to afraid to move for fear of making the monster more angry which only caused me to become violently ill ( and all those that Suffer from Migraines Know that vomiting while’ in a middle of a number 10 it is best to keep any type of firearm away from us because all we want is someone to blow our brains out ) so next time you ask someone who is Suffering from a migraine if you can get them any thing and they say yes a gun! Usually at that moment we mean it! However, I digress as all of us were on the bathroom floor Since by the time my husband got home and our friend the doctor got there too the only place I could move to was lying on the tile because it was cold and my body was responding to the pain I was drenched in sweat And I could not move.

My concerned husband kept asking if I Should be taken to the hospital and was not understanding what was happening to me. Our friend (the doctor) Only looked at me and in whispers as they spoke sitting on the bathroom floor the doctor said “she is in so much pain that we have to see if we can get her to swallow, yes thats right I said swallow some pain killers. At the time What I found out later they gave me two OTC migraine relief pills. The next feat was to get Me Off the floor And into my bed. So my husband encouraged me as if he were talking to one of our children to be a good girl and keep moving toward the bed I Crawled on my hands and knees Inching my way toward my bed the whole time hearing my husbands encouragement thru the darkness of pain. I finally made it And the last thing I remember is the sweet Oblivon Of sleep because my body Could take no more. The only thing that I was Aware of was I felt like I had fought a battle And wasn’t sure Who the winner was.

In the years to Come I learned that I would fight the monster over and over again using every weapon that was At my disposal. I have had Doctors throw me away because they didn’t know how to fix me . I now have a Label to my condition I am a Functioning Stage 4 migraine sufferer. Which means I live with my Condition the best I Can. Stage 4 well we know there is no stage 5. So the usual Botox which Is incredibly painful to have And the meds just to keep me going until there hopefully is a new procedure that may one day come along. When I found this Arena of fellow migraine sufferers I don’t feel so alone and have learned So much that I Can hopefully keep the monster calm.

Just recently my husband and I went to the movies and what flashed on the screen gave my migraine a face. I turned to my husband and told him “honey you have seen me suffer for 14 years with some life shattering pain. Do you see the monster on the screen of the movie? That is what my migraines look like , I was able to show him the hideous ugliness of these migraines and all the destruction it causes. My migraine now has a face and the monster it is ugly and scary. The monster Sleeps today but I am going to go on a plane in two days so I hope my monster does not wake up.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Migraine.com team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

View Comments (10)
  • Siotha Vest
    5 years ago

    and what are some of the pre-cautions you took? I’m to be on a plane in less than a week. It will either trigger me, or do nothing. But it’s on my “usual” migraine day… so of course… I’m wanting to know what worked on your trip?

  • karebearr41 author
    5 years ago

    Soitha,
    I am not sure what was different from this trip from any other except I took preemptive action. I took one of my meds before I got on the plane plus I made myself go to sleep as soon as we took off. I woke up on landing and was surprisingly pain free. I really try to keep my heart rate down and I also put in ear plugs to drowned out the noise sensitivity issue, I never took off my sunglasses. On the way home was a bit more of a challenge but once again I took preemptive action. I stayed hydrated and tried to not become overwhelmed by the whole day with the emotions of the day which is also a huge trigger. I really hope the best for your trip, you have my best wishes on a pain free trip.

  • katebenson
    5 years ago

    I picture bricks and nails when I have my migraines. I recently went on a plane, and made sure that I was well-hydrated (before I got him on the plane), had eaten, and had gum to keep my ears open. God Bless!

  • karebearr41 author
    5 years ago

    Isn’t it amazing as migraine sufferers we all have an idea of what our pain would look like. It helps those that don’t understand the pain we go thru to get an idea what misery we endure. My husband just shook his head when he saw the ugliness of the pain. Hang in there and I will wish the best for you in your trip.

  • karebearr41 author
    5 years ago

    Hi Keena,
    This was a label my Doctor and Neurologist gave me when they were able to see me come in for migraine injections on a weekly bases at one point and observed that I was dressed and had my wits about me yet be in some of the worse pain of my life. I know that there are so many brave people that know that we have no choice but to continue with life or we would never do anything in our lives. My migraines cannot be worse than they are because of the havoc it plays on my life, my relationship and its my determination not to take me out. So Functioning Stage 4 Migraine sufferer is that they are doing ask they can for me and has used every thing in their arsenal of medications and procedures yet I still suffer. So this is the label they have given me. I am not really sure how they came to this labeling but I will talk with them next time I see them and ask and I will find the answer for you. I will stay in touch ok. My doctor also is a form believer in the body healing it’s self. So as a migraine sufferer I do everything and anything to find away to stop the pain. I am seeing aNaturopath and have had hair analysis done to show what my body is lacking and also to see the effects the medications on my health. I can honestly say my Naturopath has helped to the point that I went and did two very big things that would have had me bed ridden for a week and it didn’t happen. I was so happy yet I am also not unrealistic that my migraines will miraculously disappear, however, what I am doing is helping. I am now trying homeopathic remedies, I have had amazing results. I hope I helped.

  • karebearr41 author
    5 years ago

    Nancy
    I tried to explain to Keena that it was a term that my doctors LABELED me with and explained why. It is with my apologies that she took anything but that. I did not mention cancer not did I try to even try to hint at it. You are right it is exactly what my doctors called it because I think they don’t know what else to do. These doctors I have are ones I have had the longest because I have had so many throw me away because they couldn’t fix me or label it like so many like to do. If this was out of line then I will tee explain it again if need be.

  • Keena Grissom
    5 years ago

    I am curious what you mean by “Functioning Stage 4 migraine sufferer.” Is this akin to a “Stage 4 cancer patient?” If so, can you point me in the direction of any research explaining the stages? Thank you!

  • Nancy Harris Bonk moderator
    5 years ago

    Hi Keena,

    The label of “stage four migraine sufferer” is something karebarr41’s doctors office must use. There is no correlation between cancer and migraine stages.

    When cancer is diagnosed it’s broken down into stages (I’m not an expert in this area) however when migraines are diagnosed there are no various “stages” of migraine. There are many different types of migraine for example migraine with aura, migraine without aura, tension-type headache and cluster headache. Any of these migraine and headache disorders can be episodic (occurs occasionally) or chronic (15 or more days a month). This link has more information about the various types of migraine and headache; http://migraine.com/migraine-types/.

    But there are four phases of a migraine attack which include prodrome, aura, headache and postdrome. Let me share this information with you; http://migraine.com/migraine-basics/migraine-phases/.

    Nancy

  • Janet
    5 years ago

    I’m so sorry to say I know exactly how you feel. I, too, will be on an airplane in 2 weeks, and sadly the monster always awakens for plane rides 🙁

    I will pray for you.

    Blessings
    Janet

  • karebearr41 author
    5 years ago

    Janet I hope that your plane ride was as good as mine was. I came thru this trip surprisingly migraine free. I had a couple of times that I made a bee line for my needs and the bed in my dark room. Thank you for your prayers and your good wishes. We need them all. Take care and hope you are ok.

    Karen

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