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What a struggle

But that would be a very one sided view, “what a struggle.” I’m sure we are here because we do just that. I have suffered from Migraines maybe since I was a child. I remember at 9 years of age having such a terrible headache and being so severely depressed, I was hospitalized for 3 days in what at the time my Pediatrician considered a sinus infection.

Now 40, pre-menopausal, and 2 live births later, I remember having my most severe migraine at 21, while pregnant with my now 18 year old daughter. Not until about 5 years ago, did I start suffering from daily headaches. I’m a nurse, you know the you just graduated, have a license to practice, and your headaches, GI bugs, physical ailments, etc. don’t qualify or quantify a call out. But these migraines sure did, still I plugged away and went to work.

It has been a truly depressing and debilitating experience. I have status-post migranosus, which means my migraines last for over 72 hours, and I am quite sure most of you know what it is and how to spell it the right way. Shame on the nurse, but I am also on week 4 of this migraine. First one longest ever lasted 2 months about 2 years ago with a 4 hospital day stay, just this past August my migraine lasted 4 months and a 8 day hospital stay. DHE infusion failed sending me into second degree heart block with a heart rate of 29. And I mean not one headache day free. Continuous, miserable, completely draining.

I get the headache mostly on the right side. Auras, odors, the feeling that a blunt object just hit you across the and I lose my balance, can’t think, remain confused for hours, stutter, terribly stutter, and spasms. Currently these spasms have become so debilitating, as soon as the Ativan wears out, the spasms return, with a vengeance. My hands flare, smack against my chest, my legs fly up in the air, and I have no control. They are painful, my muscles stiffen.

Anyhow, these headaches have hurt me financially. I can barely work. I have no health insurance because I have no remained long enough at work to retain some. I have recently bought my own private insurance and wonder how I’m going to make it through those payments.

It has been the most debilitating experience, painful in more ways that one. My gentle giant is the most understanding man I know, but I feel this episode has affected our relationship as well. I cry a lot. He says I read to much into things, slow down, rest. Left it pass.

My Neurologist is referring me out to a headache center in Boston, MA, in the meantime, I feel everything else fall apart around me, including myself.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.


  • Falcon6
    2 years ago

    I can relate to much of this, but not the muscle spasms! I hope the folks at the headache center can offer something that will help you.

  • Tamara
    2 years ago

    You are the first person I’ve heard that gets muscle spasms like me! Has your doctor said anything about it and the cause?

    I’m with you on most of it – having trouble working even part time, having trouble paying for the medical insurance let alone anything above that and having migraines that are severe for days at a time :(just finished a two week one and I have mild migraines 24/7).

    I have found being just a touch dehydrated and not eating properly makes a huge difference on the pain level – 2.2 litres a day of plain water and juice does not count (actually need to add an extra cup to each drink you have that has sugar or caffeine).

    I hope you find some answers soon!

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