Migraines Will Get You DOWN

When I say migraines will get you down I mean physically, down in a bed for days with no lights, food, or human contact. But, also emotionally down, down like you couldn’t imagine. Everyday I struggle with some sort of headache, wether it be a migraine or what I like to call an “everyday headache“.

I’m only 20 years old and I feel like I’m on the verge of 90. You would think having a headache every day would be enough to deal with, right? Well, no there’s more. Companied with the headaches comes extreme neck/back pain, sensitivity to light/sound/smell, lack of sleep, decreased appetite, nausea, and when it’s really bad vomiting until my ribs feel bruised. People ask me all the time, “Don’t they have medicine for that?” “Do you see a doctor for your head?” “Well doesn’t he know what causes them?”. Yes, I’ve tried countless of medicines and been to countless of doctors. They all tell me the same thing, there is no explanation… you just have chronic migraines. And that sucks, big time. I’ve done every test that every doctor could give me and so many times I almost want to hear that something actually is wrong. Just so I could have a reason, a reason why my body/emotional state is being punished daily.

I tell my self all the time that I’m okay with my headaches because that’s just part of who I am but partially I’m not okay with them at all. Only because they have taken so much from my life, my childhood even. I remember so many times as a kid I would be at a sleepover with friends, at the movies, or at a school function and I would be so sick to the point where I could barely hold back from puking every where. As much as I hated it I would call my mom, crying for her to come get me. But that was just the beginning when I was still a little bit younger and didn’t know what was going on. Then as I got a little older the headaches stayed and even got worse. My junior year of high school I missed 32 days due to migraines. (By law in KY you can only miss 12) At the end of the year my school counselor told me that if I wasn’t able to make it to school more often they weren’t sure if they could keep me. After hearing that and discussing it over with my family we figured online schooling would be the best option. Ha, well little did we know that would be a complete joke. I wasted a few months with that and then realized there is no way I can teach myself geometry by staring at a computer screen. Which led me to where I am now… Trying to get my GED. Which I might add is extremely difficult. In 2014 they changed the GED test to college level material in most states. And that just absolutely makes no sense if you ask me. I’ve been trying for 6 months now to get my GED, going to classes 4 days a week, 3 hours a day and also keeping a job working 6-8 hours 5 days a week. (Which is stressful and stress leads to more migraines, yay) Anytime I tell someone I’m getting my GED I almost get embarrassed or ashamed and I guess I shouldn’t but everyone, who doesn’t know me personally, looks at me so differently because of that.

Its so incredibly difficult to stay positive anymore. I think all the time God, why me just why. Why am I going through this? Can’t you make it stop? Haven’t I been through enough? But then I just stop and think, there has to be a reason. This isn’t happening because God likes to see me suffer, I know that is not true. I just pray that these monsteras migraines of mine can be used for the greater good. Eventually, one day everything will be okay. No matter how far they drag me down, I will always get back up again.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Migraine.com team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

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  • Paco
    3 years ago

    You know I think this is the first time I’ve read of someone going through the same thing as I am. I’m 20 years old, has an everyday migraine or headache for over 2 years, never got to graduate from high school, and struggling with education and working. I finally decided to take botox and got my first session in March this year. Now I’m not going to lie, I thought having migraines/headaches everyday was bad enough but the botox gave it a whole new definition of bad. My neck and shoulders are more sore than they were, I have more days where I’m stuck in bed, I can’t stay out as long as I used too, and friends and family are more irritated that I can’t do as much as I did before. I know that the botox can make it worse before it gets better but I didn’t know how worse. So I just wanted to give you a heads up on what could happen after the first session; however, everyone reacts differently so it might not be the same for you.
    I wish you the best of luck and just keep on fighting because surrending is not an option. There’s always a reason for what we go through. It just sucks not knowing now.

  • aasshhlleeyyw author
    3 years ago

    Yes it does suck. But we will all make it 🙂 hate to here that that happened to you… I pray that if you continue with the Botox that it gets better! But wow definitely glad to hear I’m not alone, I’m extremely determined to get out of school and move on!!! It’s hard not having anyone in my life knowing actually what I go through so it’s good to hear. No one to relate to or talk to!

  • INKEDKATLADY
    3 years ago

    Ash, this broke my heart to read. Because of what this has cost you at such a young age. I am 50. My attacks were not as back when I was younger and then got worse as I aged. I went from episodic (and they were doosies) to chronic after menopause. Yay. Said no one ever. For either of those. LOL. But, after trying everything, and I do mean, everything, I finally succumbed to Botox. I have a brilliant neuro praise the Lord. After three rounds, it worked. No migraines/headaches at all for a solid three months. Don’t give up if you don’t feel any change after the first round. What I read was that you need to do the standard protocol of 31 injections/at least 3 rounds before you know if it’s going to work on you or not. I am finally catching a break after about five to six years of daily pain, like you. Hang in there sister. Keep us posted. I so hope that it works great for you. I have another friend and she’s around your age, she has super duper bad migraines and occipital nueralgia, all of what you described with passing out in the mix too. She goes to my doc and also gets the Botox. She said, “If it brings it down to just one bad one a week, I’ll take it!”

    And no, our Father doesn’t purposely want us to suffer. We may go through things like Paul, for the glory of the Lord, or like Paul, to keep him humble. My faith, keeps me strong. I’m kinda sure you’ll agree. We are not only warriors, we are victorious. Thank you for sharing your story. God bless!

  • aasshhlleeyyw author
    3 years ago

    Thanks, glad to hear a little of your story! I’m gonna do the Botox I just pray it’s not a bad an experience. I’ve heard a lot of good and a lot of bad but I’ll try anything to get some relief!! I’m so glad it worked for you 🙂 hope you stay well

  • Marian P.
    3 years ago

    PS: I’m new to this site and think I’ve posted my comment to aasshhlleeyyw in the wrong place. My comment may be a little further down the page, hope you get to read it.

  • Marian P.
    3 years ago

    Thoughts and prayers are with you in your monumental struggle with migraine. I am sure doesn’t God doesn’t want us to suffer like this but I do pray and ask him to help me in my darkest hours. You are so very young to be suffering so much and have your life affected so badly. I so wish I could help and offer advice but as we all know, we migrainers are all different and what helps one will not help another. I am 69 years old and still struggling along trying to cope with it all. The only thing I’ve tried that has help me a little is having acupuncture this last year. It is by no means the complete solution as I have actually had a migraine after a treatment but I think overall I am marginally better. I found a clever lady who had studied in China and I felt she knew exactly what she was doing. My thoughts and prayers are with you. You have a fighting spirit which will get you through. I think you have to be tough to suffer with migraine as I often think it would destroy my friends if they had to suffer like this. Bless you and hope one day you will get some relief

  • aasshhlleeyyw author
    3 years ago

    Thank you. That means so much 🙂 I have just recently gone to the neurologist and he wants me to try Botox. Thankfully my insurance does cover it. So I’m going to give it a go! Thanks again for the kind words.

  • Joanna Bodner moderator
    3 years ago

    Good luck with Botox! Please be sure to let us know how it goes. Here is some info you may find helpful if you doctor did not already review with you: https://migraine.com/blog/botox-basics/ and https://migraine.com/blog/10-tips-for-getting-the-most-from-botox/. Keep us posted! Warmly, Joanna (Migraine.com Team)

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