I’m new here so a little background: I’m a 46 year-old male. I’ve been getting daily migraines for the last 9 days in a row. Prior to this I had been getting them weekly for the last few years. I’ve been keeping a journal, and so far I haven’t been able to determine what might have triggered this change. It might be stress, so I’ll continue to try to practice meditation and maybe do some yoga. I’m going to see my primary doctor today for the first time. I’m sure he’ll throw some kind of med at it because that’s what doctors do.
The migraines certainly suck, but on top of that for me is the mental health aspect. I wake up everyday now knowing that there’s a 99% chance I’m going to get a migraine. It’ll come sometime in the afternoon, either around lunchtime or toward the end of my workday, and it will affect everything about me from my work to my relationships with coworkera, but especially depressing is that it pretty much “takes me out” as a husband and father of my 10 year-old daughter. That to me is the most depressing part. I begin to wonder what the point of living is if this is going to be my life from now on.
Prior to these daily migraines, I was already struggling with ADHD. I’m not sure how many people here are in the same boat, but ADHD by itself is hard enough. I’ve struggled with it and other mental health / low self-esteem challenges my entire life. Why life would decide to throw something like migraines at me now makes me think that life is out to get me no matter what I do. As ludicrous as that sounds, that’s how it feels.
The depression is getting to me. I’m only 9 days into this, and although there are many things yet to be tried, I don’t put much hope in anything working because, well, I am me, and it seems nothing comes easy for me. I’ll keep looking and trying to find a solution of course, but living with this on a daily basis is really taking a toll on me in so many ways. I used to believe in a loving God, but now in my mind, if he exists, he’s more of a distant, cold and uncaring being who has absolutely no problem with letting me or anyone else suffer greatly no matter how much they pray.
Thanks for letting me vent. I await the replies of others berating me for being self-centered and reminding me of how blessed I am compared to other people in the world whose suffering makes mine look like a cake walk.