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Failing Fast… Breaking Up is Hard to Do

  • By RemoteControl

    Me and my neurologist are breaking up after two years. Even though we live in the same town, she hasn’t seen me for over a year. She canceled my last two appointments and then asked me to wait three months to be rescheduled (twice). When I dropped off FMLA paperwork, she didn’t have the courtesy to respond yes or no for a month. It feels like I get no respect in the relationship…

    I have several new providers, out of town, to try out. I am now once bitten, twice shy after the present lack of medical care.

    Here is my question – how do I fail fast with future providers? I do not want to waste another 12-18 months in either ineffectual or non-existent care. I know I have to advocate for myself, but what three or four penetrating questions should I pose immediately to new providers to avoid us both wasting our time?

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  • By GardensatNight

    Ugh, sorry about this. Know the feeling. I’ve definitely had doctors try to do the “ghosting” thing to get me to drop them, and also had new providers I try to switch to or get a second opinion from be as unfriendly and unaccommodating as possible in order to get across their message that “we don’t want really sick people here.”

    What I’ve figured out is that doctors/practices either have compassion and want to treat people decently *regardless* of how sick they are, or they don’t. We’ve had to just cast a wide net and set up appointments with lots of doctors (just say you’re getting second opinions) until we found ones in each specialty I could live with.

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  • By Nancy Harris Bonk Moderator

    Hi RemoteControl,

    Thank you for sharing that with us. I’m so sorry you are going through this – it’s awful.

    I wish I had words of wisdom, but I don’t. I think GardensatNight it the nail on the head.

    Good luck with your future doctors appointments. Will you keep us posted!
    Nancy

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