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Living with Migraine

Having a Really Tough Day

  • By Eranvo27

    This is my fourth day out of work in the past two weeks. I have FMLA and because of the work that I do there aren’t many accommodations that can be made for me. I am so frustrated and angry. I feel so guilty for missing work because at this point I’m am on leave without pay every time I call out. I have an amazing boyfriend who has been so supportive but today I feel awful about myself. I feel like I should be able to tough it out and push through but each migraine is so debilitating. I don’t know how to change my train of thought, 8I don’t know how to dig myself out of what I fear is a depression spiral. I am on preventative meds, I have tried some alternative therapies. I track my triggers and try so hard to find an answer or some relieve. I have been suffering with this for almost 2 years now. I used to be dependable, reliable, and hard working. When I don’t have a migraine I can still be me, but more often than not I am completely wiped out by one. How do I change my entire lifestyle and personality to accept that this is how my life is now? I’ve been working so hard not to feel so defeated and to focus on what I can accomplish but it’s so hard! Especially when none of my family or friends understand. I guess I really just needed to vent but any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated! I just feel like I may be in denial about accept life as it is now and I am so caught up in how it used to be prior to being diagnosed.

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  • By Nancy Harris Bonk Moderator

    Hi Eranvo27,

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us and being part of the Migraine.com discussion forum – we’re glad you’re here!

    No worry about venting, we all need to do that from time to time. Daily, or near daily pain is debilitating, depressing, exhausting and frustrating – I’m sorry you are going though this right now.

    Having a good support network is very important when living with chronic illness. Support can come in different forms and I’m happy to hear your boyfriend is supportive. Something you may want to consider is speaking with a counselor, I do. My counselor specializes in chronic pain and has helped me learn how to cope with my chronic health issues, depression and anxiety. I’ve also worked with my counselor about accepting my “new normal” which seems to be an ongoing process. This doesn’t mean you’ll have to see one forever, but I would encourage you to try and find one. Getting a handle on depression sooner rather than later will be helpful too. I’m on SSDI so my financial status is not great. I bring this up to let you know there are counselors who work on a sliding scale, as mine does, makes seeing one more affordable.

    If you haven’t seen a “true” migraine/headache expert I would encourage you to do so, and here’s why. These doctors are different from neurologists in that they are board certified in headache medicine (which is different than being certified in neurology) and treat one condition all day, every day – migraine and headache. Neurologists may be fine doctors but have a hard time being experts in one area because they treat so many different conditions such as multiple sclerosis, stroke, epilepsy, Parkinson’s and others. Here are a few articles that discuss how these doctors are different and how to find one; http://migraine.com/blog/how-are-migraine-specialists-different/
    and https://migraine.com/blog/really-find-headache-specialist/.

    I hope this helps, let me know how you are doing,
    Nancy

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