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Migraines and family life

  • By Wife of chronic migraineur

    Hello, my husband has had chrnonic migraines for the past year. We have two young children. He is an involved and enthusastic father. However , when he is suffering from mirgaines (which is almost always), he becomes extermely moody and irritable, and takes offense very easily. I find small disagreements (or even a benign conversation) can quickly spiral out of control, and he becomes angry. We don’t yell much, but the kids still end up witnessing a lot of very snippy conversations, which I don’t like. The thing is, i think if it was just the two of us it would be tricky but manageable. Having two young children in the mix, makes the situation a lot trickier to navigate. Family life is always hectic, and understandabkly, Ithink my husband finds it hard to cope with when he has a migraine. I feel it would be better if he stayed away for a day or two during the worst of his attacks (we have access to a vacant flat around 10 minute drive away). I have suggested this, but understandably, he is not keen to be completely alone while ill. Lately I have been unwell myself (chronic respotiory infection), and quite sleep deprived as i have been getting up with sick kids. This has made me a lot less able to deal with my husbands moodiness, and equally his illness means that I do not get the support Ineed. I think we need to change how we are going about things (e.g. start getting therapy, and maybe more help with childcare). I’d appreciate any views or advice. Idon’t like our kids constantly witnessing cranky arguments between us, and they also find it upsettiing.

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  • By Nancy Harris Bonk Moderator

    Hi Wife of chronic migraineur,

    Thank you for sharing your difficult story with us. Migraine and chronic illnes can be frustrating for the entire family. A caregiver plays an integral role in a migraineurs life and sometimes their importance may be overlooked. We have an interview from a caregiver you may find helpful here; https://migraine.com/blog/caregivers-perspective/.

    Chronic illness and migraine is hard, and I personally don’t think we are born equipped to deal with these issues. It may be time for you and your husband to seek out the expertise of a counselor who handles chronic illness. Learning coping skills, tips and tricks can be very beneficial for the entire family.

    Here is information that too, may help; https://migraine.com/living-with-migraine/caring-for-a-migraine-sufferer/.

    Please let me know how I can assist you further.
    Nancy

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