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Mum caring for 10 y-o dd with migraines since she was three

  • By MissDeesMum

    Hi,
    I’ve been caring for my dd who has had migraines since she was three. Seemed to get them under control for most of this year and then when the summer and up and down weather hit we’re back to two migraines a month.

    Two may not sound like much. They used to occur six days in a row and then she’d be fine for three and then we’d have another week of them. Took out foods from her diet that were triggers and manage her sleep habits better.

    However I’m now frustrated as I’m looking for a new job and concerned about how I will be able to juggle her migraines and work. Plus I found today that I was furious when she got a migraine. Please don’t judge me – I wasn’t mad with her – she was in so much pain that she was screaming and leaning up against her bed and can’t help herself.

    I have to help her get into bed, get ibuprofen into her which she then throws up, I try sips of ginger ale and bits of crackers after she’s vomited way too much. I use cold cloths, a dark room, a quiet house. My dd just about lost it when the neighbour was outside using his latest noisy tool which must have been mindblasting for her.

    She was in so much pain that I finally gave her one of my headache meds under her tongue. She threw up shortly after that but I think it stayed in her system. I gave it to her because I’m absolutely fed up that no doctor will give her pain meds. Not her GP, not the hospital, nor the specialist. They don’t see her scream when she’s at home and can’t even get herself into a bed. I can’t teach her to manage this on her own.

    I’m completely frustrated and overwhelmed and I’m sure that there are many here in the same boat.

    So, hi.

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  • By Ellen Schnakenberg

    MissDeesMum – Several things here to talk about.

    First is that I’m wondering what kind of a doctor she’s seeing? A Migraine specialist is really the tops in the field and the best for figuring out tricky situations. Some even specialize in peds, which would be super great for you to find. It might take a decent drive to find one as there are few in the country right now, but they can be life changing. Here is a link to help you: https://migraine.com/blog/looking-for-a-migraine-specialist/

    I’m not sure which med you gave her under her tongue, but right now there are no Migraine meds that are used that way, so my suggestion is #1 Don’t use an adult medicine on a child without talking to the doctor first and #2 Read the instructions carefully. While under the tongue probably won’t hurt the delivery, it may slow it down. The meltaways that are often used for Maxalt delivery are made to be chewed and eaten – sort of like a baby aspirin.

    There are triptans and other treatments that specifically target Migraine which are used in children. Pain medicine may seem like the best way to go, but if we can shut down the process, the pain goes away with it. Then we have also hopefully helped to keep from causing other problems that can come with the use of pain meds in Migraineurs. Here is some information on triptans approved for use in peds patients: https://migraine.com/blog/new-generic-migraine-medicine-to-hit-shelves/ Another medicine that is often effective is an anti-histamine called Periactin. Any of these might be a better option for your daughter and for your mom’s heart. <3

    Getting angry about a Migraine is normal. It's also very important how you deal with that. Let me give you a couple links that might be helpful to you in dealing with these issues... It's so hard being a mom to a young Migraineur:

    Stages of Grief for patients and care givers and partners: https://migraine.com/migraine-and-mental-health/eight-emotional-stage-of-living-with-migraine/

    Parenting tips: https://migraine.com/migraine-and-mental-health/parenting-tips/

    What were you thinking? https://migraine.com/blog/what-on-earth-were-you-thinking/

    Keeping meds down so they will work https://migraine.com/blog/how-can-i-keep-my-migraine-medicines-down-so-they-will-work/

    I really hope some of this will be helpful.

    Hang in there. You’re trying, but you’re under stress too. This will be hard for her to understand, so it’s important that you handle your own stress appropriately. Have you considered seeing someone who may have additional ideas of handling your stress as well as dealing with her chronic illness?

    ~Ellen

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  • By Maggie

    MissDeesMum:
    I understand your frustration completely, I had two daughters who suffered from migraines since they were about 3. I was fortunate to have a doctor who sent them to the right specialist. He put them on triptans which helped a lot. The one thing that we found worked was watching their diets. We used the book Heal your Headaches as a reference. It gave a great deal of sound advice which helped turn their frequent migraines into infrequent.
    It is so hard to have a sick child, you never want your child to be in pain. I hope you will find a solution for her.
    Maggiea

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