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Living with Migraine

My Experience

  • By amba

    It begins when I’m least expecting it. In mid-conversation an intangible link is theoretically severed. A little shift in my vision, spatial awareness off balance, ever so slightly. Like a little warning that my brain is having a malfunction. The disorientation is unmistakeable yet incredibly subtle, enough to cause you to wonder if you may be being paranoid and hope that perhaps nothing is wrong. Alarmed and unsure, I recoil into a state of heightened alertness.

    Then the undeniable fleck of light appears in the centre of my vision. I look around, confirming it was not a residual flash of light, like a camera flash or passing headlights and I try to blink it away. The alarming fleck of sparkling light grows wider, forming a ‘c’ shape around a black spot materialising in the centre. Blacks, whites, greens, blues, reds, all begin flashing in a deformed kaleidoscope of colours. Spinning and twirling; demanding attention. A multi-coloured invasion of the senses. Magnificently alarming.

    The dizziness hits and panic sets in; I dart my focus around seeking clarity from the hole in my sight, my heart sinking into the resignation of incapacity. The curved colourful arc grows gradually wider, spreading, still moving, gliding, sliding in rippling waves of rainbow colour. Unstoppable impairment looming. A blind spot of blurred shadows begins to emerge and surround the light, denying me my peripheral vision too. Black edges creeping in, like slowly blinking. Power surges dimming the lights. Inescapable tunnel vision brings further panic and disorientation.

    My stomach feels unsettled and delicate in anticipation. As the numbness teases my lips and a metallic taste hits my tongue, my mouth begins to water involuntarily. The world sinks into the background, uncontrollably interrupted. The crippling blindness starts taking over the majority of my sight, immobilising me. As my eyes instinctively search around me, the image lingers relentlessly. The striking colours shift to the outskirts of my view, inconspicuously, without any knowledge of it happening. Shimmering paint sliding across an abstract canvas in an ominous warning. Sparkling and twisting, like noise on an un-tuned television.

    Slowly, gradually, subtly, the blackness dissipates. Focusing in on the patch of sight that returns to me, I close my eyes; ineffectually willing it along. The optical firework display dwindles away. I am condemned to the spreading ache pressing down behind my eyes, stomach twisting; nausea increasing. Pins and needles threatening in my trembling extremities. More focus returning, craving darkness and quiet. Light growing offensively bright as I hide my eyes from its invading presence. Sensual sickness waves over me as the throbbing pain develops, escalating, intensifying; under my skin, drilling into my skull.

    And the beautiful blindness is gone. Migraine.

    Original Source: https://storieswemadeup.wordpress.com/2016/03/20/migraine/

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  • By Meaghan Coneys Moderator

    Hi Amba,

    Thank you for sharing your story with us here at Migraine.com. It is so beautifully written, and seems to completely encapsulate your migraine attacks. We really do appreciate your words and honesty. Perhaps you would find the following articles interesting – https://migraine.com/blog/a-list-call-for-creature-comforts/, https://migraine.com/blog/community-responses-what-are-your-go-to-techniques-that-bring-you-comfort/. They are written by fellow migraineurs and identify self care tips for managing symptoms while in the midst of an attack. You may find some interesting tidbits in there. Again, thank you for sharing your story with us. We are so happy you are a part of our community. Wishing you a lovely Monday.

    Warmly,

    Meaghan (Migraine.com Team)

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