The road is pain and the destination is loneliness and isolation. But then I realise I’m not the sole traveller undertaking this journey…and yet I feel lonelier still.
Every time I visit a neurologist – recently I changed neurologists and he had some great lifestyle advice so I left his office feeling slightly overwhelmed but filled with hope.
Hope that maybe the migraine reign of terror would cone to an end.
This was just false prophecy. As I sit here, two weeks later, it seems, despite following his great advice, the migraines are worse than ever and I feel ever so slightly depressed, having had all my hope brutally taken away. I’m sitting at the end of a week-long migraine that steadily worsened over the course of the week – I’m not even sure if it was one or several – everything sort of mushed together.
With no real improvement over the course of 8 years, iam I foolish still to hope? Is there any hope left? I’m a year away from my 30th bday and honestly, cannot imagine spending the rest of my life like this – the years stretch ahead of me, all dark,twisted and saturated with pain. Im not sure, it’s what I want or even if I can handle it- even if that does sound cowardly. I’m starting into a dark abyss one filled with pain, loneliness, and isolation and feeling like I forgot to bring the match box to offer that one tiny, flickering glimmer of hope in the dark….