Let’s complain for a minute, shall we?

Longtime readers of my articles know I try to remain as positive as possible, even in the face of a particularly bad migraine flare-up. But sometimes my attitude turns sour, and I let out a little steam by complaining a bit.


Do any of you ever deal with these “woe is me” moments (or days, or weeks)? Join me in my venting by commenting below if you need to, and maybe after all the frustrations are aired we can all take a deep breath and try to return to the brighter side.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Migraine.com team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

View Comments (64)
  • faeriefate
    2 years ago

    Pet peeve as a sufferer. When people say they have a migraine when they don’t or shrug yours off for a headache.

    Like, I physically can’t function or even hold down food with a migraine, and it makes me so mad when they act like I should function like a normal person with them.

    What also irritates me is when people say I should be more forgiving of migraine ignorance. No. This is a serious disease I have that literally affects my health. If I can’t call myself disabled because I hurt my wrist you can say you have a migraine because you have a headache. It’s offensive and seriously undermines my serious health issue.

  • sailorgirl15
    2 years ago

    I’m having a bad migraine experience right now! I’m writing a research report on chronic migraines (due tomorrow) and the stress of reading everything that could go wrong triggered a migraine. The irony is killing me. These headaches have been destroying my life bit by bit since 1 September 2013 and I am tired of it. All I want in life is to be an astronaut and because of this stupid disease that might not be possible. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I’m really glad I found this website. Thanks for listening.

  • Ruth
    2 years ago

    Here’s what I lost: I had to turn down an invitation to graduate school to get a Ph.D. in astrophysics at one of the top three such programs in the country. I was invited, offered a fellowship, and my out of state tuition was waived. But couldn’t do it. I had finished my bachelors two years earlier and the migraines had increased during that 2 years from 3-4 a month to every single day. But I could not accept that they were “never” going to end. So I saw every specialist in my city and tried everything modern and not-so-modern medicine had to offer. At last, when offered botox injections I was convinced this would finally finish them off. So I applied to grad school. Over the next 6 months, the normal time it takes a grad school to make a decision, I faithfully had botox injections every few weeks until my my neurologist gave up and prescribed strong painkillers and vasoconstrictors. The day I received my invitation to attend, teach at, and get my Ph.d. from the university, I was so sick I could hardly open and read the letter. I felt utterly defeated.

    I lived the next 15 years taking my meds and trying any other new protocols that seemed even remotely promising. Meanwhile I was treated like a criminal more than half the time when I tried to fill my prescriptions.

    Two years before the migraines became completely debilitating I met my wonderful husband and we fell in love and married within days. I was still in college and I was going to be the breadwinner because I was (still am) in love with physics, astrophysics, cosmology, etc. My mate was not as enamored with his chosen field and he was also a talented artist, and cook! So he ended up working at a job he doesn’t love– forever. He is still working because I couldn’t. Of course it’s not an issue for him because as he is the love of my life, I am also the love of his life. I am daily in awe of his devotion. But some days, when the migraines are very bad, all I can do is grieve the life we lost.

  • DonnaFA moderator
    2 years ago

    Hi Ruth, thanks for being here and sharing your story. I’m so happy to hear that you found your person, even through all of your struggles and loss, that is a jewel. Please know that we are always here to share support for both you and your husband. Please don’t hesitate to reach out when you need support and invite him to visit us here, on our Facebook page or our caregivers forum. -Warmly, Donna (Migraine.com team)

  • tiggmom1
    2 years ago

    Another topic elsewhere on this site today addressed that we (as migraineurs) don’t support each other enough. When we meet someone else who is legitimately having a migraine or has had them and you say “I feel your pain”, you’re often greeted with the stink eye. But it’s totally true. Many times I’d like to discuss migraines with someone who says they’re having one, to possibly find a drug/treatment/doctor I haven’t tried yet. But I’m afraid to go down that rabbit hole of “You don’t understand” because I often think it myself, sadly. We need a secret handshake or jackets or something.

  • Ruth
    2 years ago

    I’ve had the same experience! I’ve had two people tell me they get vision problems and pressure but no pain. Does that REALLY qualify? Does it compare with feeling as though someone has plunged an ice pick through your temple 18 hours before and if you even breathe, the pain will be so bad you just might lose whatever crumbs might be left in your stomach from the last time you could even eat? Do these people go to the emergency room or think about how much better it would feel if they jumped in front of a train. Do they get nauseated from the pain? The most annoying thing to me is that it belittles my situation. And that just adds insult to injury.

    I once had a friend who was a bonafide hypochondriac. She also thought everything that was wrong with her was going to kill her — and soon. She once sat down in front of me cross-legged on the floor and her knee made a little popping sound. She attributed this to arthritis. “Arthritis City!” she said with fear and panic looming just beneath her nervous laughter. I asked “does it hurt?” She said “no.” I wonder if this is just the way some people are. They just have to have something wrong with them. Maybe our culture demands it. Most of the time, I cannot even justify thinking about them, which makes me think if there is someone I know in that much pain, I might not even know about it.

  • judy5151
    2 years ago

    I’ll complain for just a minute! I had a surgical procedure last week and the anesthesiologist asked me if I had any other medical problems. I told him that I suffered with terrible migraines. He asked if I had any problems other than headaches–I corrected him and said yes–MIGRAINES!!!

  • Ruth
    2 years ago

    Wow, you’d think an anesthesiologist would know better! Several of my pain specialists have had specialties in anesthesiology. I LOVED your response!

  • BOBAK
    2 years ago

    So it looks like I may be one of the few Guys on here. However I get Migraines really bad also. I’ve been getting them for a long time. I have been to different Neurologist different doctors had MRI’s done had CT’s done to no avail. They just keep giving me different Meds. My work is getting very bad about it I’m on FMLA however I run out every year. I have a Doctors Note saying that he only wants me to work Nights which is what I have been doing for the past year. I got sick back in September with some kind of crazy Sinus infection that lasted 7-10 weeks had to end up seeing a ENT to get straightened out but they were triggering Migraines so I used a lot of sick time was have terrible Headaches throwing up dizziness you name it. So Now we have a New Boss and he wants to make me go back to doing shift work because he says my absenteeism has not gotten any better. Which he is not taking in to account the crazy sickness I had that started in September wfor which I also have Dr. Excuses for.I am really upset because I told him I think he is setting me up for failure. Which he is because when I flop back and forth I get really bad headaches.I know they are trying to fire me. I’m 54 years old. I don’t trust our HR person so I may go over her head and go to the big boss there. I may also talk to my Doctor about going on Disability. If anyone can help I really would appreciate the feedback. I don’t think he can just Not Care about a Doctor Note. There has to be a Law against that. Thanks Everyone.

  • DonnaFA moderator
    2 years ago

    Hi Bobak, welcome to the community! We’re glad that you’re here. I don’t believe that your past illness can be held against you. I would speak with someone you trust in HR to become really familiar with you attendance policy. A company that I worked for worked on a points system. You were allowed so many points in a 6 month period, and each absence counted against you only for a six month period. So your September absences would have been more or less expunged come March. Also, the decision to honor your doctor’s recommendations were likely made at a level above his so should not be his sole province to nix. He can though, as you said, set you up to fail, but knowledge is power. I’d try to stay one step ahead of him as you as you evaluate your options.

    You can find some information on Applying for disability in the following articles: Social Security Disability Insurance Benefits, Yes, Migraine IS a Disability, How To Appeal a Social Security Disability Denial, and Common Myths About Applying for Social Security Disability Benefits.

    I hope these prove helpful. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us here or on our Facebook page whenever you need support. -All Best, Donna (Migraine.com team)

  • peacehereandnow
    2 years ago

    Hey Migraine Girl. Thanks for your video and posts. I can completely relate to your frustration. Yesterday was a productive day for me and I figured feeling tired at the end of it was a pretty normal thing. However, this morning, I felt so much tension in my neck and in between my shoulder blades. I can handle that, but not the fatigue, feeling brain dead, feeling more vulnerable, feeling alone. I know I have a partner and good friends who support me, but some days, I wonder how I can accomplish the goals I have in mind for myself when I can’t even stay well. I often have kind of an eff it attitude about it. If I can deal with migraines for most of my adult life, I can walk on water and reach mountain tops. I believe because we face adversity, we are stronger for it. Few understand but we have each other and I’m grateful for that. Thank you so much.

  • 1.Sportsmom
    2 years ago

    I have been suffering for 3 consecutive years with a migraine that will not quit or completely go away. But I also have other problems that lay and wait to get me when I don’t have a migraine. In 2012 I was thrown of my horse, I actually went right over the top of her head and shoulders. I did a backflip, landing in front of her with the wind knocked out of me. She was smart just stopping to stand there.
    But here you see is the problem I didn’t have a helmet on. So when I feel I kept my head from hitting the best I could, therefore pushing my spine out at the base of my neck. Yes, you guessed it that happened to be where I took part of the heaviest blow. When I got up and could somewhat breathe I got back on and rode her. Hello can anyone else see the huge mistake. But what is any got horseman taught from a young age? GET BACK ON AND RIDE THAT HORSE! Well let’s look back I could hardly breathe, let alone see straight, but there I was riding in all my painful glory. I had a headache the next day as well as having them on and off for the next few days. Still only went to the Dr because of a bruised leg not feeling right. But after about a year of having pain and headaches my doctor was calling tension headaches I went to physical therapy and the chiropractor things got a little better.
    Then in October it hit me so hard everyone thought I was having a stroke. I had full on right sided weakness, aphasia, couldn’t see out of my right and a pain in my head I couldn’t explain it was the worst pain I had ever experienced in my life. I mean I would have done childbirth again and those where not great stories either. Thank goodness my daughter was with me I called in to work she talked for me told my boss everything as I tried to make it the rest of the way there so she could go to school. (You see I was a Bus Driver, the reason I say was is simply the end of last school year I stopped driving I was so bad and have not been back.) I was greeted by my boss who took me to the hospital there in our small town. They did what they could and shipped me out to a bigger hospital, which I happen to stay 9 days in.
    That’s when I was told you have Migraines. I was discharged with a bunch of medication that made me sick and still in a ton of pain. They told me I needed PT for my left side and gave me a walker to start with. I was freaking out I had to use a walker at 32yrs old. I started PT again and was asked if I had called the place I had been told about. I said no but I will today. She told me there’s a waiting list so be patient. Praise God they had a cancellation and I got in that week.
    This facility then put me back in the hospital over Thanksgiving giving of 2013 to study me. They found out some more, but not enough the first go round. I have had nerve blocks, nerve ablations, trigger point injections, nerves numbed in the entity skull they did a complete crown.
    I have since been back and forth to the clinic for my medicine some injections. I was hospitalized again about a year ago just after Christmas. This time the found more problems. So here is the fun list I have been told is wrong with me.
    Thunder Clap headaches
    Hemiplegic Migraines with Aura
    Cervicalgenic Headaches
    Vascular Spasms
    Sinus headaches
    Nerve damage to the neck
    Trigger points in the back and shoulder blades
    Sounds like fun right well to top this off with a cherry on top I have major food allergies that will give me one in the snap of your fingers. So I have to be extra careful about what I eat, drink and even touch. I can’t handle the smell of almost anything I get sick all the time. My and big Z have good relationship, so I can brake up with the porcelain god. Believe me that is my worst nightmare! I just hate dirt toilets.
    We thought we had things under control until my ovaries decided to take a crap on me. Then my hormones went crazy and I got on the roller coaster. Had to have them out. But haven’t been able to work my head is so bad. Missed Christmas party with Grandparents that go to Florida because someone or something might set one off. Now I’m missing out on the Christmas Eve party because I can’t handle all the commotion. Over stimulus knocks me on my butt for at least two days. I want to be good for Christmas.
    Right now I can’t get any blocks or ablations because they are concerned my body is way over stimulated from having surgery. So we are going less is more. But I’m stuck with no life and to me this is not more!
    I am screaming get me off this ride it sinks and I want a refund!!!
    I swear I spend more time in bed than out with my family and friends.

  • Joanna Bodner moderator
    2 years ago

    Dear 1.Sportsmom,

    I first want to thank you greatly for taking the time to open up and share your very personal migraine story. Words cannot express how sorry that I am for what you have have gone through and continue to endure. As we do with all of our community members who have been through such hardships and are struggling, is to suggest that you get the support that you deserve…not only from doctors, but from support groups, therapists, etc. Here is an article you may find interesting – https://migraine.com/getting-help/. Additionally, while it sounds like you have seen numerous doctors, do you mind if I ask if you have seen a board-certified headache specialist? I sometimes like to ask this as realize you could have very well exhausted all your efforts or have hit a dead end with a specialist however; there are some who are not aware of the difference between seeing a specialist versus a neurologist or other doctor. Just in case you’d like some information, here is an article – https://migraine.com/blog/why-we-ask-about-your-doctor/.

    Again, thank you for sharing such a heart-felt comment. Please know we are always here for support and never hesitate to reach out.
    Warmly,
    Joanna (Migraine.com Team)

  • LadyElke
    2 years ago

    Hi, I’m new here but not new to migraines. I’ve had them for 40 yrs. The only thing that seemed to work a bit I can’t afford so it’s back to the drawing board. I’m having them daily. I work, but it’s getting harder to do that. My husband of 33 yrs left me several yrs ago bc he said he couldn’t manage it anymore. Hmmm…I thought I was having difficulty managing the migraines. I don’t even tell folks I have a migraine anymore, I just say a “headache” because they look at me like I’m a crazy woman. My family doctor even told me women with migraines are “just emotional.” If I say “migraine” to ppl most respond by telling me about their bad headache one day 10 years ago. I’m sympathetic, but you all know how it feels. We smile thru it but want to gauge our eyes out & pay someone to beat our heads in with a shovel. Just paid out $5500 in dental to repair teeth from vomiting so much. When I die, my first question to God is surely “Why have I lost my entire life to migraines?”

  • clrickard
    2 years ago

    Do you have someone OTHER than your family doctor you are able to see? I honestly believe there are many people in helping professions who need to find a new profession when they can’t validate the individual they are helping. You said you can’t afford what helped you. Have you tried any assistance programs. As an individual knowing what it is like to live with migraines AND being a social worker – I am always on the lookout for helping people use resources!!! One free resource I use all the time is Needymeds.org

  • LadyElke
    2 years ago

    Oh, forgot to say, I am on day 14 of a constant migraine. Longest ever. Unbearable.

  • hthr1972may
    2 years ago

    I’m right there with you. And I’m so tired of other people who have never had a migraine taking this disease so lightly. My work had a real problem with me being absent because of migraine even though I had sick days… so now i even hesitate to tell them that I have migraine when I’m too sick to drive. It’s looked at simply as headache. It affects my brain in ways I can’t explain to the drs and I seriously think I’ve lost iq pts. I’m a teacher so this is not good.. yes I agree some days we DO NEED TO JUST VENT GIRL!!!!! 🙂 🙂

  • Chrissy
    2 years ago

    Have you looked into intermittent FMLA? It saved my job for years.

  • LadyElke
    2 years ago

    I know, I don’t tell work anymore. I smile & say “fine.”

  • SilverPhoenix13
    2 years ago

    I actually just submitted my story to be published. While it’s nice to have good periods, par5 of me is sick of them just because of the huge letdown when it ends. I was lucky enough to have a 3 or 4 month period where I had 2 or less migraines each month and they lasted less than a day. I was happy because it allowed me to actually go and enjoy a Lindsey Stirling concert with my husband for my birthday in October. It was probably about a week or two after that that the good period came to a crashing halt. It’s so disheartening.

  • marlayna18
    2 years ago

    Hey i’m 17 years old, so i’m still in high school. i have been getting migraines since i was around 12, but they are much more frequent now. I get a migraine 2-3 times every week and they vary in severity. The pain is always either between my eyebrows or right above my left eye. nausea always accompanies my migraines, and over the counter pain meds have never worked for me. one of my migraines was so bad that some parts of my body went numb and i couldn’t even lift my backpack up. if anyone has any recommendations with what i can do to get rid of these terrible things let me know. i’ve heard that tricyclic antidepressants have been known to help, has anyone tried them?

  • Victoria
    2 years ago

    I also recommend that you find a headache specialist or neurologist who specializes in migraines. My best advice is for you to be your own advocate. This is really, really important.

    Tell each and every doctor you visit exactly how the migraines are affecting your life in the most specific way possible. Keep track of what you’re eating as food/drinks may be a trigger for you.

    I too started experiencing migraines when I reached puberty and it’s been a long strange trip indeed. Good luck and hugs to you!

  • Jani8
    2 years ago

    Have you gone to a headache specialist? They may be able to point you to some preventive and aborting meds. I find that Sumatriptan works best for me. I have yet to find a preventive med that works. I had them as long as I can remember and I’m 66. I wish you the very best.

  • Amy Thomas
    2 years ago

    I have suffered with migraines for most of my life. When I lived in Tx, I only had maybe 10 a year. When my family moved to SC, within the next few years I started to notice that I have getting more migraines and at my worst. I was having a migraine 5-7/week. I was waking up with them, I was miserable. After starting on botox a few years ago, my migraines reduced to 2-3/week. So it has been better, but still frustrating. I have had one most of the week. I work as a counselor at a local university and it’s hard to listen and work when I have a bad one, but any weather change and I get hit. I would have to say that I miss out on a lot of extended family functions. I can deal with the pain, because it is most of the time, but lights,talking,and some smells are too much and I can’t attend a family get together. I am so tired of missing events, missed a wedding a few weeks ago and also missed some work. My rule is that I can’t go to work if I reach the point of throwing up. I can’t deal with that. Today, I am trying to relax and take some of my other meds so this one will go away and I can go to Thanksgiving dinner. If anyone has tried any med that helps would love to know the name. I currently have the following meds to use regularly: Imitrex-shot, nasal spray, and pill for; also have onzetra (new), and cambia.Sometimes they work and sometimes they don’t this week nothing works for long term and am looking at having to go to doc for shot or something stronger or steriod. I am also on other preventive meds that I take too…It’s life and really sucks sometimes

  • DonnaFA moderator
    2 years ago

    Hi Amy, thanks for being part of the community and for reaching out with your question.

    I’m sorry to hear that you are struggling to find a treatment protocol that brings you some relief. If you feel that your doctor is at loose ends, or that you are not being heard ,you may want to check out Is It Time For a New Migraine Doctor? for linking up with a headache specialist in your area. -All Best, Donna (Migraine.com team)

  • Jani8
    2 years ago

    I have come to realize that if I tell my husband that I have a migraine or other health issues, just saying it out loud helps. I try not to b**** and whine all the time. I tell him matter of factly and don’t whine (usually). He has finally learned that when I do this I’m not expecting him to fix it. That frustrated him a lot. He knows that I just have to acknowledge what’s going on in my head and other body parts. He is wonderful and a great care giver. We’ve been married for 47 years and I’m not sure when he said he would take me in sickness and in health that he knew what he was getting into! I have a headache of some kind every day. I had a 22 year headache from March 4,1980 when I had a tumor removed from my Pituitary Gland to May 10,2002 when I retired for the first time. Yes, stress has always been a huge trigger for me. I would wake up in the morning feeling like a semi loaded with 50,000 pounds of frozen hamburger parked on my head. I was afraid that if I moved so much as a eyelash that my head would implode. Thank God for Imitrex! It revolutionized my life. I still have the headaches. Every day. But not usually as bad. I hate the prospect of waking up each day. I’m afraid to sleep sometimes when they’ve been especially bad. Thanks for listening.

  • DonnaFA moderator
    2 years ago

    Hi Jani8, thanks for being part of the community and for joining the conversation to share your thoughts.

    I think that’s a guy thing, feeling the need to fix everything. It’s awesome that you’ve come to an understanding of how each other communicates and you can speak your minds without the other stressing.

    Please know we’re always here when you need a friendly ear! -All Best, Donna (Migraine.com team)

  • Julia
    2 years ago

    I had a really bad migraine on Saturday the 19th, and I ended up in the ER with a dark spot in my right eye and a heaviness on that side of my head. I was scared that I might be having a stroke. But the nurse practitioner who was my “doctor” wouldn’t give me a CT scan or anything. They gave me some medication (toradol, fenegrine, benadryl – don’t understand that one). Didn’t move me out of the 10/10 pain scale. By this time, my blood pressure was so high I thought I was going to stroke out and die. I was in so much pain. They finally gave me Ativan and a steroid. Didn’t help much either. I begged for pain medication, but I was refused multiple times. They still think that narcotics use results in a rebound headache. Maybe with some people but not with me. Never had a rebound headache. I finally gave up trying to convince the stupid people and told them the migraine was better. Went home and took a large dose of my painkiller and went to bed. So frustrating that everyone gets treated like drug seekers, even though I don’t go to the ER but once in a quarter, sometimes less. Simply because I’m tired of being treated like a criminal when I’m not. I wouldn’t go the ER if I don’t need it. But I guess unless you have a leg detached, you won’t get proper humane treatment.

  • 1ckhl5l
    2 years ago

    This is the sad truth now. Pain is pain and sometimes you need something to knock it down. I can’t take the triptin type medicines. I had a bad reaction to toradol. But going to the ER is mostly worthless.

  • DonnaFA moderator
    2 years ago

    Hi Julia, I’m sorry you had such a bad experience. We have a couple of articles you may want to read that talk mitigating the stress of an ER visit: Tips and tricks for a successful Emergency Department visit and Emergency Migraine Treatment: Forms to Simplify Matters.

    You may also be interested in Migraine & The ER — A Follow-Up Interview and Getting Sick… while already sick, which talk about Benedryl as part of the ER treatment protocol.

    I hope this information can help to ake your next ER visit a little more pleasant. Thanks for being part of the community. We’re always here to share support. -All Best, Donna (Migraine,com team)

  • Elizabeth Wilde
    2 years ago

    I’ve had migraines since I was 8 years old. When I hit my 20’s they became a daily, debilitating event. Some days aren’t as bad as others. On the really bad days I start to panic. I start thinking this is never going to end, I’m going to get another one tomorrow, the day after tomorrow,the day after that, the day after that , and so on. I don’t have a life anymore, it’s completely dictated by migraines. I don’t go out, I don’t have friends they got tired of asking me to do things and me canceling because the migraine was to bad. I spend most of my life laying in a dark room with an ice pack on my head, doped up on Percocet and fentanyl, listening to my kindle quietly read to me. On the really bad days I think even death would be better than this no life I live. I’ve tried explaining it to my pain doctor and she admitted me into a psych ward for three weeks, saying I said I was going to kill myself. Other doctors have labeled me a drug seeker. What I am is someone looking to just stop this daily pain. I wish I could find a doctor that understands that. Migraines have robbed me of everything I enjoy in life, they’ve taken away a normal life and I feel like I’m living in limbo. Thanks for listening.

  • DonnaFA moderator
    2 years ago

    Hi Elizabeth,

    I’m sorry to hear that you are struggling. Please know that you are not alone, we’re always here to listen and to lend support. Please check out Migraine Crisis? Get Help. and Creating a Suicide Safety Plan and if you need immediate help, please call: 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

    In the long term, please check out Is It Time For a New Migraine Doctor? to connect with a headache specialist in your area. And Top Places to Find Support with Living with Migraine can help you to find peer support in your area.

    We’re here if you need someone to listen, Elizabeth, please never hesitate to reach out here or on our Facebook page. -Warmly, Donna (Migraine.com team)

  • Julia
    2 years ago

    Elizabeth Wilde, I feel exactly the same way. I’m tired of the near daily migraines and the pain and not having a life. I recently started Botox injections, and I’m hoping and praying that they work. I just wanted you to know that you aren’t alone on the ocean of pain and loneliness and frustration. I’m right there with you.

  • Trayz
    2 years ago

    Hey everyone. Thanks for a place to vent where others “get it” (pun intended) I have gotten migraines since childhood, and there are no shortage of complaints here, but I did have a unique experience last week that really left me feeling horribly embarrassed. Sitting at my sons Parent/teacher interview, and my sight starts to do the thing… You know.. the looking through water, seeing blank spots in my vision etc. So I know what’s coming next. I’m hoping it’s just the ice pick pain this time. No such luck. Within minutes I’m slurring my words and cannot string two words together that make any sense. Another minute in and I have to leave. I have zero ability to concentrate, extremely limited speech and look sloppy drunk because my face droops as well. So after trying to politely excuse myself, I left mortified. I may as well have wet my pants standing there. Fast forward a week later and I’ve still been eating codeine like candy and waking up with that awful hungover feeling. Has anyone else ever suffered embarrassment due to a migraine attack?

  • stephdw
    2 years ago

    Absolutely, I slur my words, can’t think straight, walk around in sun glasses and baseball cap everywhere bc I’m sensitive to all lights, have to be as far away as possible from fragrances. I swear even if I don’t take my meds for a migraine it looks like I’m drunk or doped up. It also embarrasses me to have sunglasses, hat, & nose & mouth covered around any type of fragrance, chemical or natural. Just sucks

  • stephdw
    2 years ago

    Absolutely, I slur my words, can’t think straight, walk around in sun glasses and baseball cap everywhere bc I’m sensitive to all lights, have to be as far away as possible from fragrances. I swear even if I don’t take my meds for a migraine it looks like I’m drunk or doped up. It also embarrasses me to have sunglasses, hat, & nose & mouth covered around any type of fragrance, chemical or natural. Just sucks

  • Jojiieme
    2 years ago

    😉 Aphasia is just the forgetting of words part. Not the rest of the disorientation. (I work with people with disabilities including brain injuries, intellectual disability, cognitive decline and dementias. And I have that old acquired brain injury, but it’s different to this but most people don’t realise it)

    Ahhh. (Sigh)

    What we live with, eh?? Hope you’re having a good day!

  • SilverPhoenix13
    2 years ago

    It’s a symptom called aphasia. I get it to varying degrees, too.

  • Jojiieme
    2 years ago

    Oh, you poor darling! Hope you’re a little better now, at least!!
    And yes, I’ve been that bad – in a job interview!!!
    And another job interview I missed altogether because I couldn’t pull myself together enough after getting off the bus and walking down the street…couldn’t remember where I was, or why, couldn’t see clearly enough to work it out and couldn’t form words to ask…
    😉

  • Kareninatree
    2 years ago

    I just feel hopeless and alone. Tuesday a week ago, I started getting withdrawal symptoms from a medication I am coming off of. I had terrible restless legs, arms and body. Could not get to sleep until 4:00am. I had 3 nights of it then a killer migraine, too painful to sleep. The migraine lasted for 16 hours nothing would stop the pain. The pain let up and the restless legs came back. A wicked migraine hangover and no way to rest. The head pain flares up and down. I miss my kids my husband and I am in great need of a shower. Thanks for a place to vent.

  • DonnaFA moderator
    2 years ago

    Hi Kareninatree. I’m so sorry to hear that you had such a difficult time. Please know that you can always come here or our Facebook page when you just need someone to listen. We’re always here for you. -Warmly, Donna (Migraine.com team)

  • jjrae
    2 years ago

    Thanks for a place to vent. I’ve been down since Tuesday night with a migraine and I missed work Wednesday, Thursday I made myself go in but listening to recordings of frogs and birds through headphones trying to identify them killed my head badly and made it flare back up and I missed Friday. It’s now Sunday and it feels like I drank an entire bottle of tequila last night my heads throbbing so bad. Went to the er as my Dr is on maternity leave but they gave me a medication I had listed as a trigger and just made it worse! At least my migraine over powered the flu bug that swept through the house and I was spared that torture!

  • jerseygirl57
    2 years ago

    I identity so well with most every comment here and thank the author for a chance to vent! I have been in a migraine spike since Sunday and feel, well you all know how I feel. I am presently kicking myself for 2 Facebook posts I made during this time. In one I shared a positive picture but said I was having migraine difficulty, the other was a commercial showing a woman trying to deal with this disease in her life – short and to the point. But I’m not usually vulnerable with friends and have such difficulty feeling guilty about it. I don’t want pity, just understanding. Does anyone else feel guilty being honest with friends, feel like you’re complaining? Feel as if people will judge you as not trying? I have good friends and realize this is about me. Thanks for any feedback. Ann.

  • stephdw
    2 years ago

    To finish last post, husband asked why I had been ignoring him, (not intentional) & I had to explain thru migraine fog that I was trying not to unload my pain on him again

  • stephdw
    2 years ago

    I feel guilt for being sick, for not accomplishing enough, four not managing to paste a smile on my face for my husband when he gets home. Last night was the 5th day in a row, and I was posting on a migraine site so that I wouldn’t unload my pain on him yet again. Funny tho… found my post on that site also posted to my fb, which i was afraid would make his kids mother mad, so I fumbled to erase it. (I want to have a conversation with her & my teenage step daughter about the fragrances that are triggering my migraines every time I’m near them, but not on fb!) Btw, i have had this conversation countless times over the last 3 years! Later hubby asked why I had been ignoring him

  • Jojiieme
    2 years ago

    Am studying the Compassionate Care course on futurelearn.com – one of those free online courses many unis are now hosting. This one is so helpful in promoting self-advocacy and self-care for us as carers, as patients, and as the healers.
    It’s hard to find a safe place to confide our vulnerability and to ask for understanding. And others can’t learn how to support us if they don’t know what we live with, or what we need.
    Jerseygirl57, you’re brave to reveal these private things. I hope this has been respected.
    Wishing you strength and resilience…

  • DonnaFA moderator
    2 years ago

    Hi JOJ, thanks for sharing the information on the course! It sounds wonderful! Thanks also for sharing your support and for being part of the community. -All Best, Donna (Migraine.com team)

  • 2 years ago

    I’m sick of listening to myself complain. Can only imagine how my husband and others feel. I honestly feel like a burden and I wouldn’t want to to be around me. I’m having trouble seeing the good or happiness in anything. Just over it. Over trying meds that make you feel like crud, procedures that only make it worse. Was always the one who told people and myself to look at the positives and now I only see negatives.

  • Luna
    2 years ago

    I get tired of myself. I detest getting hyper and not letting it go easily. Today I had a bit of a yell at someone who sorta deserved it but didn’t. I don’t mind apologizing but would prefer stating things calmly and not have done anything to apologize about.

  • mammapeaches (Susan McManus)
    2 years ago

    Hey! This is Susan in St. Mtn! The smoke here has been bad and I’ve been laid out all week!

    We all deserve to vent!

  • Jojiieme
    2 years ago

    Hugs to all: I sooooo understand the frustration and despair!
    Living with a work-from-home partner who lives with depression, who acts as if the universe is all about his current thought-process (each quarter-hour), and it’s exhausting, especially when I’m migrainey.
    And today (Wednesday in Australia) it’s almost summer, and very warm in Qld, but I’m prodoming with a left eye that feels almost blind, a 9″ spike trying to bore up through the right side of the back of my head, I have no balance, and I’m huddled deep into a quilt on the sofa trying to not hear the construction sounds from the houses behind, next-door and across the street.
    I promised to meet a friend for lunch in an hour… At a beachside cafe…. It’ll be too bright but we haven’t met for months. Sigh.
    Thinking of you all….Hope you feel better quickly!

  • Jojiieme
    2 years ago

    What am I saying?? ITS FRIDAY!!
    Double-sigh.

  • Maureen
    2 years ago

    How crazy is this? Chronic migriane has me so screwed up that it took 24 hours for me to figure out that the reason I felt so horrible was not migraine but the flu. I had a fever of 103 and didn’t know it! When I feel pain all over and cold like I won’t ever be warm again, to me, that means really bad migraine, not fever. TOTALLY WACKED!
    Feeling better, thanks for letting me vent!

    PS Unfortunately, maxalt did not seem to help the flu at all;)

  • DonnaFA moderator
    2 years ago

    Hi Maureen! Thanks for sharing your story, the last line gave me a giggle! We’re so glad you’re here. Please know we’re always here to listen when you need to vent. -All Best, Donna (Migraine.com team)

  • Joanna Bodner moderator
    2 years ago

    Hi Maureen – How frustrating!! I am SO sorry to hear that you’ve come down with the flu, but am very happy to hear that you are feeling a bit better. Hope you are able to take it easy. Always feel to drop by and vent whenever you’d like…we love hearing from you! Hope you are better soon. -Joanna (Migraine.com Team)

  • Holly G.
    2 years ago

    Thanks for the space to vent – I’m tired of it all too today. I’m tired of the war between feeling lazy while resting and feeling misreable while pushing through. I’m tired of the daily migraines that never quite get to zero, of apologizing for missing things, of maintaining hope when so many treatments have failed, of being strong when I’d rather be in bed, of trying to differentiate between migraine fatigue and depression fatigue. I’m so close to finishing my masters degree but migraine makes it all so incredibly hard. I’ll go back to being my optimistic, driven self tomorrow. Thanks for the reminder to really experience and acknowledge our suffering instead of skipping past it and trying to fix it right away, I actually do feel a tad better now. Hang in there everyone!

  • LadyJ856
    2 years ago

    Every summer, my siblings gather around my brother’s pool all day Saturday swimming, talking, having fun until well after dark. Due to chronic depression, I have not joined them until this year. My depression is much better and I want to be around people again, especially family. So I went over on the 4th of July around 11:00. By 1:00, I felt awful and had to leave. I learned my lesson to not go over before 4:00 or 5:00. But they are already in the midst of their conversations or maybe making plans to see a movie, so I feel left out. Therefore, I stopped going completely. Thus increasing my depression and isolation. Thanks for the opportunity to vent.

  • DonnaFA moderator
    2 years ago

    Hi Ladyj856, I’m so happy to hear that you are emerging from the darkness. Please don’t give up, it’s an adjustment to be sure, but you’ll find your rhythm. I am the same, the summer sun and the heat just kill me it’s like a migraine sledgehammer. Maybe you can plant seeds for joining in before the event, mentioning a movie you’d like to see if they decide to go.

    We’ll be sending good thoughts your way. We’re glad you’re here, please don’t hesitate to stop by when you need support or just a friendly ear. -All Best, Donna (Migraine.com team)

  • Devonlee
    2 years ago

    Girl I know how your are feeling! Sometimes we can’t look on the bright side and we have to say this sucksite and it’s unfair and guess what I mean miserable? I know how you feel.

  • Devonlee
    2 years ago

    Wow I had a lot of typos there. Sorry folks I don’t know if it’s my migraine medicine making me loopy or my auto correct just isn’t a friend of mine.

  • Douglas
    2 years ago

    You have my sympathy. I was also down with a migraine on Tuesday. I was out so hard in the morning that neither my daughter or my dogs realized that I was home until I barged into my bedroom half-conscious and slurring my speech. The episode has lasted since Monday morning, getting bad Monday evening through this morning. Truth be told, if I had enough sick or vacation time I would not have come into the office.

    As you said, days like these are really annoying.

  • SilverPhoenix13
    2 years ago

    If your company has more than 50 employees, even if it’s at other sites within a 75 mile radius, you should look into FMLA. If the company meets thise requirements, they HAVE to provide it for qualified employees. It’s unpaid leave, but it will at least save your job and any benefits you get from them if you have to miss work.

  • Douglas
    2 years ago

    Update, I was so bad yesterday (the vertigo had me hard) after work my wife would not allow me to get my own dinner or pick the dogs up off the floor. I was very frustrated with my situation.

  • DonnaFA moderator
    2 years ago

    Hi Douglas, I’m so sorry to hear that you had a tough day, but it’s wonderful that you have such a lovely caretaker. I’m hoping things are looking up and your frustration has lessened today. We have lots of information on the site regarding vertigo. It’s a great topic to discuss with your doctor as he may be able to prescribe something which provides relief.

    Thanks for being part of the community and for joining the conversation. We’re glad you’re here! -All Best, Donna (Migraine.com team)

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