Eye-Roll Worthy Comments
Migraine isn't "just a headache." We've said it so often that we sound like broken records and every time we do, we wonder, "How is this disease still so misunderstood and stigmatized?"
Use this space to share the most surprising and frustrating comments you've heard and how you've responded.
"You don't look like there is anything wrong with you. " is the most frustrating comment. I am still trying to figure out how to respond to that one. It hurts so bad to have someone say that. Thay don't know this disease has upended my life.
Appreciate your post so much, and I resonate a lot with the feeling that most people don't understand what it is like to mask or hide a migraine. Thought I would share this article with you, in the event that it feels relatable: https://migraine.com/living-migraine/taking-off-mask. Taking off the mask of migraine requires us to be vulnerable, and makes us susceptible to criticism from others. I also think it makes sense that we can't be 100% authentic with everyone in our lives. While it would be nice...it is likely not realistic. I hope that you have at least one person in your life that can see your true struggles. It makes a big difference, at least from my own experience anyway.
Best,
- Cody (Team Member)
thank you for bringing voice to this frustrating situation. I'm sorry to hear that your boss doesn't understand migraines and therefore makes an already challenging experience even harder. I had a boss in one of my first corporate jobs that didn't understand migraines and it was so challenging. Dealing with a migraine is hard enough, so having someone doubt the experience only makes it harder.
I'm glad that you're part of this community here with people who know how strong and resilient you need to be to manage migraines. That is you - strong and resilient! - Alene, moderator
I have been told "Oh! So the problem is you!" The assumption is that it is a spiritual or psychological problem and I just need to get on top of things. That makes me very any. I keep having to tell these people that the brain is an organ too and it can get sick, that doesn't mean it is a spiritual issue.
for sure! I often think "if only those naysayers just had one of these awful attacks .. they'd understand!". Don't wish it on non migrainers, but empathy is nice! I think it's completely valid that you sometimes wish all the migraine naysayers would get one so that they understand better. In fact, we have an entire article dedicated to this topic. Check it out here: https://migraine.com/living-migraine/ever-wanted-to-gift-a-migraine. And if you have the time, feel free to let me know what you thought about it. It's one of my favorites! - Cody (Team Member)
All my life I have been hearing these same statements - "you look fine" or "you were fine a minute ago"
These statements combined with "your quiet" are just so frustrating as well soul destroying
Yes I may look fine but I'm not and a few minutes ago I was fine but now the aura has started and I just know what is next.
Yes I am quiet - every bit of my energy is being taken up with trying to see the computer screen, concentrating on not throwing up and telling myself that it might not be a bad one this time.
So much of our energy is spent trying to appear "normal" and "carry on" when we have a migraine or are recovering from one because we fear these type of comments and the silent commendation of our co-workers and managers when we either try and wait it out to the end of the work day or have to leave early.
Migraine is a debilitating illness, not an excuse to get off work early, or to get out of attending a family function or spending time with friends
Treasure those friends and family who whilst they might not truly understand what is happening support you never the less.
Celebrate those co-workers who offer to drive you home or take over your work without a fuss - they are rare but they are out there
Oh boy, dizziness can be awful, I'm sorry you are going through this. Although it's a fairly common migraine attack symptom, it's always a good idea when new symptoms and/or patterns crop up to let the doctor know so he/she can make sure everything checks out OK. Pain free wishes heading your way, Nancy Harris Bonk, Patient Leader/Moderator Migraine.com Teamyes, "you're quiet" is definitely one that only people with migraine truly understand what's going on when that comment is said. I think we can all relate to that experience of not feeling well and just trying to get through until we can go home for rest. Thanks for sharing this. And yes, let's celebrate the people in our life who do understand migraine and are there to support us. - Alene, moderator
"I get those too. I just take Tylenol and go to aerobics class."
Completely hear what you're saying,
. I encourage you to check out this article if you have the spare time and energy: https://migraine.com/living-migraine/ever-wanted-to-gift-a-migraine. It talks a lot about being able to "gift a migraine" to someone (just once), so that they have a better understanding of what it's like to live with migraine every day 😀. Let me know what you think if you check it out! - Cody (Team Member) Love it!! HA HA!! I totally agree! I could make a list of people to gift a migraine to!
