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My mean thought for the day

I’ve said before that I wouldn’t wish the pain, disability, and frustration of Migraine disease on anybody. Now I’m calling myself out–I’m a big, fat liar.

I DO wish every single person in the world could have just one Migraine attack. I don’t wish chronic Migraines on anyone, not even my former next-door neighbor who was inconsiderate and rude, with a tendency to party LOUDLY well into the wee hours of morning despite my asking him to shush. I don’t want people to have the worry that comes with chronic migraines; I don’t want anyone to frequently break plans, feel unreliable, and feel guilty for not being as active and healthy as others.

But man, oh, man. I wish people could experience an entire Migraine attack. I want those disbelievers to know for themselves that Migraine is not just a headache. I want them to feel how difficult it is to conduct any normal activity while having a Migraine. I want them to realize the disease is very real and not imagined or psychological.

Maybe I’ll ask Santa for this wish this year–if he doesn’t scold me for being mean-spirited and then give me a lump of coal instead.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.


  • CntryMomma
    11 years ago

    I too live with chronic migraines pain. And often, when I find my hubby being insensitive, I tell me all he would need is to get one once … once! … and he’d never be insensitive again.

    I also live with Fibroymyalgia and TMJ pain. I can’t count the number of folks who have said, “Ohhh.” Then, “I think that’s one I have.” So irritating!


  • deborah
    11 years ago

    not only do I agree, I’ve actually posted this same thing. I don’t believe it’s mean-spirited, as much as it’s just wanting someone to truly “understand” like they say they do. When in all reality, they can only imagine what we live with, for a brief moment, and then go on with their own lives. Only a migraineur can understand what we really feel and go through. As for our families and those who go through it with us; they, and only they, can co-miserate and truly “understand what we go through” without having to endure the pain.

    Does that make sense or answer your question without making you feel hard on yourself? you should definitely not feel hard for how you feel.

  • themigrainegirl
    11 years ago

    Emily & Mama: It's my guess that we'd be hard pressed to find someone with chronic pain or illness who didn't want other people to understand. Maybe I'm wrong–maybe we're just the unkind ones.

    I get so frustrated when non-migraineurs tell me they know JUST how I feel. Their lack of understanding is probably exaggerated in my head by my own guilt and frustration, but it's annoying all the same. I want people to know how certain chronic illnesses, though not deadly, can completely alter your life and affect you each and every moment, even when you're not feeling bad. Even some episodic migraineurs probably don't know how it is to live with this migraine-related stress.

    Chronic migraineurs-r-us!

  • Mary Carol
    11 years ago

    I remember during those 13 intense years of that PMS/possible Migraine stuff I (and you and your sister and father) endured. Sometimes I wished other people could experience what was happening to me, and I was probably mean by wishing that. But it often struck me that others were SURE of what I was experiencing when I KNEW (and know!) they didn’t really know. One friend used to speak of the pain in my stomach when I never had stomach pain. She said this, I’m certain, in an attempt to comfort me. However, especially in the throes of whatever illness I had, all I wanted to do was slap her—if only I could have summoned the strength to do that. So…what I mean is, I think I understand what you mean by this post. (Or maybe I don’t…
    love, Mom

  • Emily
    11 years ago

    i agree with you — and i wish people could experience what i experience for a week, just to understand. to believe me. i feel like a lot of times, since people are more familiar with episodic migraines, they believe i must be mistaken about mine.

    does seem kind of mean-spirited, right?

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